Enlightenment , Love and Creative being

Life, fitness, bob loblaw update

2012-02-10T23:45:00.000-08:00

Funny that I should write this post today, I just read my friends Magda's and hers was all about how she hates Yoga. I was just about to update how I have been doing Hot Yoga once a week and how much I love it. My fitness regime has picked up for sure, I am doing twice a week at the Gym anywhere from 30-45 min. I think in the last year I have been telling myself that I didn't have enough time, but the reality is there is enough time, 30-45 mins is better than 0 min. I am really enjoying the challenge again. I do have to say though that having had a personal trainer before has its benefits. I can hear her in my head when doing my workouts pushing me to do another set, another push up 5 more, 1 more min. I wouldn't mind doing some more work with her once the opportunity arises. It would just be nice at least once a month to learn some new stuff.

Otherwise I am learning lots still at my job, It is definitely different than doing Design full time. I get to leave work at work. I was doing some design on the side, in the Mandarin community with a Design friend of mine. That is a line you must be careful with, working with friends and making friends at work and especially with bosses. Joy and I work well together we have an understanding. When it comes to business and issues, it is business, no personal allowed. I am currently dealing with a situation where in business an associate of Joy's is trying to pass the buck, place blame on everyone else, dodge her responsibilities. As a designer and strong personality I am not allowing it. She was emailing and phoning me to get my help to clean up her mess. I am not her babysitter so I am simply standing back.

Anyhow, this is sort of a random post.. lil of this lil of that. I will write again soon

B

WOW

2012-01-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

Wow is all i have to say, here I thought there were only Two people who ever saw my blog, ever. I didn't know there was a stats button on here and just found out that people all over the world are checking my personal blog THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. There is nothing more inspiring than knowing people are reading and checking updates.

I have been working on a lot of things, on is my other blog, I am an Interior designer by trade and have decided along with my personal blog I would love to share my design knowledge with the world.

http://bxdesignandphotography.blogspot.com

is my other site.

On my personal note, I have been getting back into Hot Yoga, what an amazing exercises. They heat the room up to something like 40 degrees and then you stretch for an hour or hour and a half. It really feels good for me, I have intentions of getting back into running ( I have taken a bit of a break in the fitness department) and am finding that Hot Yoga is a great way for me to begin, lots of leg strength and lots of core work.

I will keep this blog up to date as well now, keep reading

Rest and Relax

2011-08-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

Last week at work I wrote this big dramatic post about timing of life and bla bla bla. I have deleted it cause its beans. What really needed to happen was I needed my holiday and some time to me. I took off on my own up North to have some garden time and extra sleep. It is AMAZING how I feel now that I have had a chance to step away from the forest and take a look at things from a distance and then step back in to life. I am able to say YES you work for me... and NO your done. I know a couple things for sure since my rest break...
1. Fitness is important and as much as I have been avoiding it, which now means EXTRA work to get back (my own fault and lesson) It calms my brain it makes me feel better and it helps in the creation of good things in my life.
2. I LOVE my man Phil. Yup coming home to him in our home was the best.
3. I need to be challenged at work. I have been tired at work and frustrated because I get BOARD then its bad. I need tasks, and jobs to do at work. I will be approaching my boss and supervisor tomorrow at my first day back.
4. I am in a great place in my life. I really am proud of where I am at right now. I still have some work to do but I am proud of me.

B

Interior Designer

2011-04-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have been in the Design industry for as a professional Interior Designer for 4 years now, previous to that I was in school for 2 years and prior to that, I was a decorator.

I have my certificates in both Design and Decorator. I am not trying to be vain here, I have a point... There are many people in the Design industry who call themselves designers and yet do not have the education to back that statement. I know there are a some people out there who have the natural talent, as do I, and there are many more with just the experience. I have had this conversation with many Interior Designers, and it usually strikes a cord with them, how many people are out in the industry with no design schooling. I found this clipping from my school binders, and I would like to share.

Making time...

2011-03-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

I want to spend time here, I want to build this, I have to make time to be here. It is not that I need to find the time, there is the same amount of time in each day, every day. If I want the time I have to clear the space, take the time to do what it is I want. That is what its always about, how we are spending our time. Basing our time on the second Quadrant *Steven Covey, 7 Habits for Highly Effective People* is what I would like to work towards.

enlightenment

2011-01-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

I was inspired today - in-spirit being the base of that word, by a co-workers blog. Its a lighting blog but she is very passionate about it. I was really inspired to continue my enlightenment blog with the same drive. I have been feeling very me lately, feeling like I do not need to change so much of me and have been accepting parts of me that I have been resisting in the last couple years.

I have been reading a new Ekhart Tohle book - A New Earth and have been writing down pieces that I am drawn to. Here are just a few

"if you don't succeed at something it doesn't mean your a failure"

"whatever you fight you strengthen, whatever you resist, persists"

"in a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever."

"defining yourself through thought is limiting yourself"

"what really matters is not what function you fulfill in this world, but whether you identify with you function to such an extent that it takes you over and becomes a role that you play. When you play role, you are unconscious."

"the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Stay with the facts."

"awareness is the greatest agent for change"

"awareness means presence, and only presence can dissolve the unconscious past in you"

"the more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise you will be forced to relive the past again, and again."

"give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You wont die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you, when they define you , they are limiting themselves. So its their problem."

"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"
William Shakespeare

"cleverness divides; intelligence includes"

2011-01-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

These are two of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!

"This being human is a guest houseEvery morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you out for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sentas a guide from beyond."
Rumi

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

Yay!!! Happy New Year

2011-01-04T06:30:00.001-08:00

YAY Happy 2011!! Bring IT!!!

I am so very excited about 2011, this year is going to be AMAZING!! I have started it off with a bang, and I intend to continue this momentum. My application to write my exam to become a Registerd Interior Designer has been accepted, I am at my new job and my 3 months probation period is just about here. This new years, I was able to spend it in doors, sober, with my love! It has been a great start.

will be blogging lots more, deleted my FB page, thats why you cannot find me I just really want face to face human interactions vs facebook to facebook, I have some people overseas but those who want to contact me find other ways, phone, email or surpise visits to my door :)

Lets show 2011 how we do!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

2010-12-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Tis the time of the Year to Wish Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It has been an amazing year and I am so happy to have You in my life. Lots has happened this year and I know that there are many posts to come in 2011, new adventures new experiences. I hope that everyone has a very very Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year.

I will continue to post in Jan.

Best wishes, and sending lots of love to my dearest over seas!!!!!!

Loves
Bex

2010-12-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

Mr. Robin Sharma is one of the influencial writers, I have read many of his books and find that the way he delivers his message really hits home for me. I wanted to share this list with you all. Given I am not there yet in doing them all myself but it is a great reminder that simpilicty in life is really powerful in life. Please enjoy! Rebecca I want to shift gears from leadership to a pure focus on crafting an exceptional life for this blog post. Ultimately, life goes by in a blink. And too many people live the same year 80 times. To avoid getting to the end and feeling flooded regret over a live half-lived, read (and then apply) these tips:

1. Exercise daily.
2. Get serious about gratitude.
3. See your work as a craft.
4. Expect the best and prepare for the worst.
5. Keep a journal.
6. Read “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin”.
7. Plan a schedule for your week.
8. Know the 5 highest priorities of your life.
9. Say no to distractions.
10. Drink a lot of water.
11. Improve your work every single day.
12. Get a mentor.
13. Hire a coach.
14. Get up at 5 am each day.
15. Eat less food.
16. Find more heroes.
17. Be a hero to someone.
18. Smile at strangers.
19. Be the most ethical person you know.
20. Don’t settle for anything less than excellence.
21. Savor life’s simplest pleasures.
22. Save 10% of your income each month.
23. Spend time at art galleries.
24. Walk in the woods.
25. Write thank you letters to those who’ve helped you.
26. Forgive those who’ve wronged you.
27. Remember that leadership is about influence and impact, not title and accolades.
28. Create unforgettable moments with those you love.
29. Have 5 great friends.
30. Become stunningly polite.
31. Unplug your TV.
32. Sell your TV.
33. Read daily.
34. Avoid the news.
35. Be content with what you have.
36. Pursue your dreams.
37. Be authentic.
38. Be passionate.
39. Say sorry when you know you should.
40. Never miss a moment to celebrate another.
41. Have a vision for your life.
42. Know your strengths.
43. Focus your mind on the good versus the lack.
44. Be patient.
45. Don’t give up.
46. Clean up your messes.
47. Use impeccable words.
48. Travel more.
49. Read “As You Think”.
50. Honor your parents.
51. Tip taxi drivers well.
52. Be a great teammate.
53. Give no energy to critics.
54. Spent time in the mountains.
55. Know your top 5 values.
56. Shift from being busy to achieving results.
57. Innovate and iterate.
58. Speak less. Listen more.
59. Be the best person you know.
60. Make your life matter.

180 Degrees

2010-12-09T22:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, My entire life has done a 180!

I am at my new job, its amazing! I really do love sales.

ummm yeah so I am seeing someone too, actually its not just dating either.. I am in,, all in... head over heels fallin in Love! yup I said it!!! He is an amazing compliment to my life. His name is Phil, and its only a matter of time till he is living here with me.. yah 180 Right! I knew in the first two weeks too, like ahhhhh helll,, this is for real, and I am loving it. I will have to get a pic of the two of us and post it here ;)

how far is too far?

2010-11-29T21:51:00.000-08:00

So I have had a loved family member move on today, she was an amazing inspiration and great woman, at 102 she was still looking to get feisty and asked me every time I saw her, if there were any hot men outside and if I could bring her one in. I loved my great gram, and today she moved on, I am upset, of course, but I want to celebrate her life. I asked her advise on her 100th Birthday,

"Gram, Its beck, I want to know since your 100 this year and I am 25, what advise can you offer your great grandchild of with your 75 years experience on me?"
"you like to dance beck?"
"ya gram I love to dance!"
"well beck, you got a man?"
"no gram, why?"
"well ... get one.. and make sure that he can hold onto the tables, because you must always always dance on the tables!"

Best advise I ever got!

So the title of my post comes from my anger towards my extended family, people started posting on FACEBOOK this morning that gram had passes, FACEBOOK, for goodness sakes, gram has hardly had time to leave her body! So not only is this of horrible disrespect, that is how my sister found out that gram had passed. It disgusted me today to find this out about what I am supposed to be calling my family.

I am posting this here, because well, really only two of you read this anyhow, and I am sure since its all over the fricken Internet, you have heard by now, also neither of you knew gram, and well this is my place to vent which nobody knows about. :)

So have seriously been considering deleting my Facebook page, Its gone too far for people, this whole addiction to technology is too much. People don't even have face time with one another any longer, you go for dinner and its phone this and txt and tweet and status updates! where is our humanity going? seriously... out the freaking window. I smile at people while walking down the street, and it seems foreign to some people like I must be up to something because I am making eye contact.

Anyhow, if you find that one day you go to find me on FB and I am gone, its not because I have escaped, I may just be without a page. You can get me here or email me or call me.

Favorite quote for today "Friends are Gods way of apologizing for our families" Dr Wayne Dyer

blog posting and dinner!

2010-11-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

Wow its been a couple days ( weeks ) ma bad! but I am inspiried tonight to voice a few things, I am sitting here eating my dinner and checking things out online, I have come across a couple of words online and they have prompted me to let you know where I am at.

So things have been good with me, I changed jobs and am working at a lighting and plumbing store selling products, its good I actually really like sales its fun, plus I am learning new things everyday which really is a huge part of me. I am high energy so I need the stimulus of learning all the time, otherwise I will just get board.

I have been doing things a bit differently in my world, I am not currently working with my life coach or trainer, My budget is allocated to other living expenses at the moment but I know that once I am making some coin and saving up a bit I will definitly have her back, but for now its good. I have been incorporating running and some work outs into my week. Also there are many things that I have learnt in the past 2 years with my life coach that I have been working on, I still read most mornings and journal and meditate. I have been processing the things that we talked about and the things I am implimenting in my daily routine.

I am currently reading Dr Wayne Dyer (love him) The Power of Intention, learning to co-create your world your way. So this is a great book, I was hearing a lot about intention and acting and speaking with intention... these words stuck in my head but I really didnt understand what that meant to do these things. I think that I have posted about it ealier, but this book is great, it really gets down and explains what it means. So one of the greatest things about intention is that everything is created twice, first as a thought... so I started to acknowledge and listen to the thoughts that were CONSTANTLY running through my head... they were just silly, I was worring about alllllll kinds of shit that had NOTHING to do with me. I was thinking about situations and problems that didnt even exist... what a waste of energy!

Not only was I thinking about usless shit, I was telling myself and surrounding myself with all kinds of horrible negative things. Hence it was the greatest thing to quit my job. Seriously..

Once I realized what my inner dialog was, I was able to know that if I could have these thoughts that I could just as easily have others... positive thoughts, thoughts of gratitude, love, kindness, creativity, beauty, abudance and expansion.

Being grateful for EVERYTHING, its all a gift, even if it sucks, we have all been there... something crappy has happened and at the time we are like SHIT>>> not cool.. but later sometimes even much later.. the thought comes to us ohhhhhhhhh I now see why the crappy thing happened.. and if it didn't I wouldn't be having this good thing happen now...

Being grateful for everything is just that. saying daily thanks for what the day has brought. you can thank God if that's what you want to call it, the universe, the source, the heavens, its all the same, its the higher energy that creates us with .. here it comes,, intention.... intention as explained in this book is like this... an apple seed is created with the intention to become a beautiful tree, which produces flowers, and more apples.. with more seeds full of intention to create more apples... the seed the tree nor the apple say... what do I do now? they don't say I'm not good enough to be the tree, the apple, the flower, it just knows.. we are all made from the same .... stuff,,, we are all created with intentions.

The way to tap into this is to do things like knowing that we are all connected, all of us, everything! what gets in the way is EGO.. ego says I am alone, I am different than you, I am not the same. YES YA ARE.. we are all souls and spirits... we are all part of a much much much --- larger abundant world.

I say thanks for things in my day that I would otherwise bitch about before, or never acknowledge... Like the rain or the wind, the sun coming through my window. the smile I received from the stranger. All of them are little blessings that should not go unacknowledged.

I am finding that with gratitude, I am able to practice the other things mentioned, Love, beauty, kindness, creativity, expansion, and abundance. actually is pretty easy once you learn gratitude, you then love everything because you know that its been brought to you because you are grateful for it, and then you find it beautiful, with that your creativity starts rolling, and when your on it like that your more likely to practice kindness to others, they cant piss you off your full of love beauty and creativity, with those ingredients brings expansion because you start to think outside the box, "wait I can do that, if I i don't know how now, I sure can learn how" constantly expand your limits.. then comes abundance... once you know you can learn and expand,, you also know that like your potential, everything in life is of abundance, like air... and space..

Light bulb... now its time to act on it... just reading about it, and thinking about it wont get it done, that the second creation,,, making it happen.... one step at a time if needed. I made a new rule in my life.. I must smile at EVERYONE I make eye contact with... funny how many people catch your eye. I smile all friggen day! whoop whoop

Nothing works unless you work it!

Beautiful days

2010-10-21T05:40:00.000-07:00

My life has really done a turn lately... it is amazing once you remove one negative thing from the pot how quickly you can gain back your confidence and power and move forward with a snowball effect.

Since I left my last job,, the Becky, the real one that Mag you grew up with, the ballsy one with an opinion.. yeah well she back.. she a lil mad that she missed so much but she back. welll..... I'm back I should say.

I am loving my new job and my new boss, I also love that since 99% of the people there don't really know me from before,, I can start again.. "dear universe thank you for this opportunity" I can press the reset button and people I work closely with will only know what I tell them about me, this time I will do it and am doing it differently. I am sharing what needs to be shared, I am making the connections but not telling everyone everything, I made that mistake in my last job and it was silly.

I am being very careful what and who I tell stuff too, I don't know people very well there so my guards are up a bit, I like this. The people I want to let close in I will invite but otherwise nope.
I realize that I am there to be friendly to my coworkers and customers but making friends and being friendly are very different.

I have been feeling so much better about myself and knowing that I can go so much further in the last couple of days, I know it will only grow stronger, and for this I am excited.

New day new way

2010-10-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

I am very excited, today I start my NEW job in sales! I will be learning about lighting and plumbing fixtures! I know this is not very exciting to most but for me... to learn new things everyday is wicked.

.... I have been off work for about two weeks now and I am definitely ready to get back to it. I have been cleaning and reading tons during my time off. I have been reading this great book called _ Now Find your Strengths. Its great, you read all about these interviews that these guys did with 2 million people who are excelling in their jobs, then they took this information and created common threads... 34 patterns actually. So its based on the science that when we are born we have many strengths and talents, by the time we are 3 years old, the strongest thread have been developed and those are our strength they hold strong through our lives. Actually it turns out our brains get smaller as we get older .. also when we get smarter our brains shrink too. HUH

So once you get through the first 3 chapters of the book and learn the differences between Talents, Strengths, skill and knowledge you take this online test.. it takes about 40 min and it gives you a series of A and B questions with how you respond the exam tells you your top 5 strengths, then you can go ahead and continue reading the book to see what they mean.... It has been amazing to learn why it is I do some of the things I do....
Really..

Like for example as ironic as it is that I have pretty much always been disorganized ( which has always driven me crazy but I never did organize) is the opposite of my top strength.. which is called Strategic.. its that I actually have a natural talent to take disorganization, clutter and chaos and find many ways and solutions to organize it... hence why I have (for as long as I can remember sorted my coins.. and pens.. and odd things) So for the last couple of days since I have had the time I have been using that talent to actually organize my life.. it finally feels right in my house.

There are two others, once is Achiever.. which is basically that everyday starts at 0 for me.. and throughout the day I need to achieve things in order to feel good at the end of the day. otherwise (so true) I get really disappointed and down on myself.. this is great... and there is a catch.. which is also true,, that everyday I also feel that I have only accomplished about 75% of what I feel I can do because in my mind there is always more even if I have literally filled every min of my day I will still feel there is more...

then I have INPUT... this is the fact that I collect and keep things... things that interest me.. books, coins, pens, things, knowledge.. and I keep them... Its a great thing because with learning new things and reading books is one of my things to collect so I am on a constant hunt for new knowledge.. then you put achiever in there with it and it keeps me going to find new and get new.. then you throw Strategic in there and that's where I can drive myself nuts... to organize and sort all of these THINGS I constantly collect... oi

If you have read the book I am also WOO and empathy..

I would strongly suggest reading this book and doing the test!

let me know I would be interested to find out what others are!

Sharpen the Saw, Plan ahead

2010-10-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

So, I have been doing many things since my last post.... I am currently up North doing a little sharpening of the saw, it is very important that I do this since I will be starting my new job on the 12th, I have accepted and will be starting back in sales for a period of time. The best way to learn about something is to sell it! This is a great new opportunity for me and I am very excited. I have also been promoting my Photography, I want it to grow so I can have my pieces in the gallery spring, I need to get my planning ahead done while I am here, business plans, projections for both new opportunities the sales I want to be making over the next year in my new job as well as the projections for my photography sales... I haven't done this before but I know that what I was doing before needs to change, sooo I am making the change to organized...

Thankfull

2010-09-27T08:42:00.001-07:00

Today I am again very grateful for the opportunities which have been brought to me! I made the choice to end some relationships and mend others and I am very thankful for how they have fallen away and fit back in, I had created a very messy situation and I am very very thankful for how it all came together.

I have learnt my lesson with this, I am changing, I will continue to change, I will continue to learn. This has been a huge lesson for me and I am going to take from these lessons and change from them.

picking up the pieces

2010-09-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

This is my blog, I have created this to be able to write out what needs to be said.

I have created some things in my life that I am not proud of right now. I have created false beliefs in others and myself. I have created a relationship with people that I do not want to be in. I have created a lot of pain for myself and others. I am so sorry.

I want to change, I can change. I want to create meaningful relationships with people and I do not want to hurt them. Today I had to end a relationship that I have been feeding into for a while now, I have gone back and forth with it a couple of times. I ended up making some bad decisions based on a false belief and now have to deal with the consequences. I have not been fair to this person in continuing to be with them now, when I do not want to step into the reality that is later. I had to end this today and they do not understand, they do not understand because I have been feeding into it and creating.

I am sorry.

I have a huge opportunity in my life right now to make some big changes for myself and my future, It has come to head that I have to change my ways because what I have been doing does not and will not continue to work if I want what I want.

I will not cry over this, I have some friendships to fade, some to mend. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but what I need to do is not try to wallow in my sorrows and play the victim, I need have the strength to deal with the consequences and move forward in my life, and learn from where I have been.

Lots in the works!

2010-09-24T07:35:00.001-07:00

So!!!! In the last couple of days, maybe a week things have been stirring up in my world, the change in my life has been coming for a while and I know I was afraid of what to do next, its amazing when you work under someone if you don't know who you are for sure or know that your amazing that person that your working for can have amazing power over you, the thing I am grateful for is, once you realize they don't have that power any longer how quickly things can change and where the courage, strength and confidence comes from knowing that you can.

I have stepped into the light, I gave my two weeks notice at my job and I am done at the end of the month. I am currently still looking for a job position that is right for me, I want to work in a design firm, I want to learn different aspects of design, commercial, retail, promotion design, I am also interested in things like fabric and textiles. In the past two weeks I have met all types of people, designers, architects, furniture designers, real estate agents, I have been interested in parts of what they all do.

I am in the works of designing my way. My way to incorporate all those amazing things that excite me into what I will be doing.

I have also been promoting my photography, this is something that REALLY excited about! I want to sell my work as custom canvas sizes. I want them to hang in high end homes, and be seen all over the place, I want to use them for promotions and advertising! I have had a couple of people inquire about them and am in the works of a couple of sales!!!

I went to and event last night and re-connected with a bunch of my network and relationships in the design world. I'm not going to say much more on this but the updates are coming!!

MMMMMWAH so grateful for this experience thank you Universe!

Changing one step at a time

2010-09-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend has been so great, so many amazing things have been happening. Its like once I decided that I have the permission to change and do better, it came flooding in. I am so thankful for having this experience and so very excited for whats coming!

This next two weeks will be big for me, it is like the end of my year and next year starts after my birthday. I need to take action today! I will not play small for the universe, I am bigger than that! Times up, today I grow the balls and take the big step to changing my life for the better, why wait!

Will keep you posted ;)

Great day!

2010-09-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today I had such a good day, I had good food, good feelings, I accomplished so much just knowing that I am making the changes!!! I am so thank full for this experience and that I am going through it now!

Today's Dr Wayne Dyer quote is -
"without exception, begin every day of your life with an expression of gratitude. As you look in the mirror, say, "Thank You, God, for life, for my body, for my family and loved ones, for this day and for the opportunity to be of service. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!""

Love it!

must be in the stars

2010-09-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

I am so excited, I had one of the best life coach sessions last night, Next week we get to move forward!! YES For the last 6 months I have been coming to this very point in my life coach and then I would turn back, this time no... I say F*ck it,,, we is moving forward !!!! I want so much more out of life, and out of myself, I am willing to do whatever it takes to make the changes I need.

So today I am changing my posts a bit, I would like to make sure that what I am typing and thinking on my posts have positive and inspirational roots, because I want to change the thoughts to those of positive change and inspiration. No longer to dwell.

I am going to start with my big dreams, When Jade and I did this process the first time, she told me to think bigger than I ever had, think as if money was no object and that anything in the world was possible ( all true ) what would I really Really want... then imagine the details of these dreams...

I will have a part time condo in New York, something I could go to when I wanted to be there, I can already see the view out my window, I am overlooking a park.

I will have my photography and art displayed in my gallery, big pieces on the walls, brick and rough exposed beams, polished concrete floors, big windows.

I will be running my business, based on the principles of sustainable design, amazing clients.

I will be on TV and in magazines. I am leaving a lot of the details of this one up to the universe, there are so many possibilities to get here.

I art, designs and photography will seen by many.

wow,,, anger over.

2010-09-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

So its like I have been pushing on a door my whole life,, push push, trying different ways, different styles, push push... guess what its a freaking pull door! I just need to pull the door open. There will be (as I suspected in a previous post) many changes to come.

I need to just man up and do the things I need to. Done, quit making excuses and distractions. Times up.

on a side note, I have been taking new dance classes, OMG love them, I started taking pole dance classes YES love love. Such hard work to be honest.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2010-09-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have been twitching out A LOT!!.. And I am angry. And the things that are bugging me about other people (key to what is bugging me) is that people are not getting the simplest things. And they are expecting others to do the work to deal with their stuff. AHHHHHHH

Just be me.. I'm unconfortable. I'm unknown, I'm a mess, I'm disorganized

I am angry with myself, I am mad that I have let my life get here, I am mad that I have wasted 6 months on avoiding me. I am mad that I have all of this uncomfortable energy and I don't know what I am supposed to do with it.

you really have to WANT it!

2010-09-11T18:25:00.001-07:00

Sooo there will be some changes for me coming, big changes, but as I am learning today you really have to want it. I am sore from training, I am tired from taking on lots of over time work from Maison (the company I am currently working for) and I now need to work on my personal updates, blog, portfolio, photography pages, resume. I am searching in my spirit for the inspiration and energy to get these things done. What my first instinct to do would be, go home put my feet up and have a glass of wine, its not going to move me forward though, and I have promised myself to do that tomorrow. So for today..... keep my chin up, my pencil down and go. I can go home in 3hours.

inspiration, fear, uncomfortable, wasted energy

2010-09-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

I last posted about limiting beliefs, what timing! I posted that I have a belief that I cannot commit, this is true. Why can't I commit, because I don't believe in myself that I will be able to do it. Self love.

This is what my journal says from last night. This is the list of things I need to do.

This is not task list that needs to be completed but these are things that will help me get to loving myself enough to know that I am capable of greatness.

-start saying no to you and YES to me.
-take more solitude time.
-sort out what it is that I really want, and really what is important to me, removing the emotion while doing this.
-ask for help
- meditate, practice prayer, put my trust in a higher power
- slow down
-surround myself with things and people that solidify the truth of self love. If I continue to surround myself with un-organization, uninspired people, indecisiveness, and low confidence then that's what I will become, and have become.
- allow me to just be me. As pointed out to me yesterday, I have taken the course and received a certificate to say I can be the Designer I am. I need to do the same for me.
- have faith that once I begin this journey to greatness that the universe will provide me with what and who I need at that time.
- trust that what come is there because I want it and that's why I have created it.
- I am the creator
- know that I am worth fighting for
- be the best I can be, and do everything in my power and awareness to create better

This is my list, not yours. This is my truths and I am going to strive to be in the 3% of greatness. I am scared Shitless, but I don't want to be in this false reality anymore.

A great mentor says, "Average people like being average because nobody bothers them"

I am putting this in my blog as a reminder for me, and to share with those who understand, if you want to tell me, don't be so hard on yourself, or you are an amazing person, don't worry. Don't. Please. I do not need to hear that.

This is only the beginning.

Limiting Beliefs

2010-09-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

The only limits we have are the ones we place on ourselfs.

When there is something that you think, I cannot do, I don't know how... these are core beliefs that we have placed on ourselfs. It isn't something we do intentionally, or that we may even be aware of, but the reality is once we are aware that we have these we can question what our beliefs are and get past them if we are willing.

I don't think I can commit to a realtionship...
I don't know how to let people in....
I don't know how to go in, and discover more about me....
I can't run...
I can't lift that....
I can't keep going...
I can't save money...

These are some of mine and some that I have already got past. The thing is we create everything twice, first in thought then in action, so if even at the base thoughts of our creations, we are doubting ourselfs, how on earth are we supposed to get to the action part if we are shutting ourselfs down before we even do.

I have been thinking about this... my big one that I realized yesterday was I was telling myself the top 3,

I I don't think I can commit to a relationship...
I don't know how to let people in....
I don't know how to go in, and discover more about me....

Once I wrote these down I started to ask... is this true, is this what I truley believe, am I able to influance and create the new thought. YES YES YES because we are the creators.

Of course I can commit to be in a relationship... I have before.. I am more aware now, the same things that happened before cannot happen again unless I let them. I am able to commit to other things, I have committed to myself for the last 2 years to get fit and healthy, I have committed and completed my schooling.

I don't know how to let people in, that's just silly, of course I can let people in. That's what rich relationships with friends and family is. I already have that, but the fact that I was telling myself that I didn't know how has put a brick wall between myself and those rich relationships because I PUT IT THERE.

I don't know how to go in, and discover more about me.... this isn't true.. nor is it serving me, I have done the worst thing, I have placed that same brick wall up for my self. How can you place a wall somewhere that doesn't exist. How do I not let myself in to myself... that's like how do I get in the car that I am already sitting in? Well you cant because your already there.

Look at where I am now - I have moved to Vancouver by myself, I have completed and excelled at my design schooling, I have acquired many skills in design and building, and am working at a company for 3 years now in design, with TWO design awards... and loosing 30 pounds, running a 10k and 5k race....

WHAT AM I HOLDING BACK FOR? If I achieved all of this in 5 years, without being at the level of awareness I am now... I ask myself truly, what am I capable of at this level of awareness!

priorities

2010-09-06T17:11:00.000-07:00

So this long weekend has been a good one, I have been working on what I posted about last, Intention. What is the energy I am putting behind what I say and do and think. I had not been in contact with Chad for most of the summer, and I had gone on a couple of dates with other people. I came to the realization that these other people I had been meeting just were not doing it for me. Once you learn something its amazing because you cannot un-learn it. Chad and I have a unexplainable connection... its sick. right from the first time we talked and more so the first time we met.

So when I started to meet other people and this connection just was NOT there, I started to think about Chad again. Really looking at what I wanted. I started to talk to him again on the phone, and on Friday we met.. its taken me a bit to get there, I realized that if I am going to put ANY energy into a relationship with anyone, it will be with the person I really like and have this connection with. Its been an amazing weekend. I am so much more relaxed this time, as my good friends would say HOLLA, TRUST, SNAP!

It really does NOT matter what others have to say about what I do, or what I feel what they think of me .. I have to follow what I want. No exceptions.

Lesson one

2010-09-03T06:31:00.000-07:00

So for the first time in two weeks I am actually up early-er-ish.... I am normally up at 5 or 5.30 and reading and doing all sorts of things. As I have talked about before I have been really tired the last while. I finally don't have a headache this morning either, I did get a neck and shoulder massage from a friend so that's part of it, I also changed my alarm clock on my phone to a new song, I found this one that seemed nice last night, bit of a hard rock type Pantera, Metallica maybe a little... well I'm AWAKE... it went off this morning, my gawd... I may or may not keep this, pro - it wakes me up con - little extreeeeeeem maybe.

So last night was life coach night,, of course I was a total mess again, I have been so busy this week and doing extra hours with photo shoots and a job isn't going as planned and the clients are coming home today and bla bla bla STRESS.. the reality is I don't have a stress management plan

We got right into it last night, I have been learning lots and attempting to apply these new habits to my life and for the most part there are some things that are making an impact but really I don't seem to be getting it.... I was interpreting the word Intention in the wrong way, I had the wrong paradigm as to what and why we have intention.

In my book it talks about your paradigms being like maps to a city.. you may have a great map of Chicago lots of detail and you really know it and can navigate perfectly... but if your in Dallas and your reading your Chicago map.... your going nowhere.

The interpretation of what and why we do things are our paradigms our maps I was interpreting Intention as make a plan and do it... get the book read the book make the notes DONE. Make the lunch the night before, have more time. done. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yes I know shocking right, I also thought that was correct.

Jade explained Intention with the right words and the right description for me to understand clearer...

Intention - the meaning and energy behind something. The question behind Intention is what experience do you want to create?

For example why do am I getting up in the morning and writing my my blog? - cause it gets my thoughts out no. Because when I write out what I am thinking and share it, I connect with it better, and this makes me feel good, it releases stress and clears my thoughts. I also feel good knowing that by sharing my blog here, someone might read it and it will make a difference in their life.

We talked about using the right words to describe things and it really makes a difference in what words you use... Its the Second Agreement - Be Impeccable with your word - The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz.

slow down and breath

2010-09-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

I have a pattern that I am working on breaking, I go really fast with everything... everything and it is not serving me. Yesterday while training Jade told me to slow down... like S L O W D O W N............. of course this was great, I got more out of the 20 ab reps in that moment than the last week of ab work. I was able to focus on what I was doing and really reap the benefits of the ab work. HELLO why would I not do that with EVERYTHING in my life... slow down and focus....

Professional athletes do what they do so well because they slow down during their practice and focus on every moment allowing their minds to connect to the actions. This practice allows for calm breathing and focused thoughts, so when in the middle of a race or game their thoughts are 100% clear and focused to make spit second decisions to succeed.

I was practicing this morning, with even just my body brushing before my shower and how I had my shower this morning. It really helped me relax for my day.

I think it really hit home yesterday with the ab exercise because I don't think I realized how much I needed to slooooooooooow down..

just do

2010-08-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

Wow I missed yesterdays blog post, I had such a long day. Got up later, around 6.30 was at work by 8 and I had a work event last night so I got home at 8pm a full 12hours of work.. wow.. I had wanted to do laundry this morn but forget it, I slept from 9pm till 7am this morn.. but I have to say this is the first time in a while I feel like I have my energy back. This past couple of weeks, I got pretty lazy with my life coach stuff and pretty much everything in general and really I think its because I really just needed to rest up.

I am excited to have found out yesterday that I might be able to right my exam to be a Registered Interior Designer sooner than I had originally thought, that would be great. I am also excited its started to rain today, not weenie rain, big rain, this means fall is coming I LOVE fall, and it also means that I can get back into my books, September just feels like the right time to study!!

Anyhow gots to get back to work, long day again today and ending it with training!!!

Energy

2010-08-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

So as I mentioned yesterday, there has been a lot of realization for me and a lot more awareness in the past couple of months. All of this awareness and thinking has been gobbling up energy which is good because its energy that I am using to invest in myself. But for the past forever I have been using my energy to run all kinds of babble around in my head, needless to say I have been extremely sleepy this weekend. I have had tons of offers to go places and do stuff, but for the most part I have been declining and staying in this weekend.

Today's plans are pretty simple, well first my coffee and of course blog, I need to deposit my paycheck and purchase my groceries, do all my food prep for the week, read my book and I am guessing have a nap. Seems like a great day to me!

I am also thinking that all of this sleeping and re-energizing is in preparation for what the universe is bringing me next, I have a feeling that all at once my career and my personal life and relationships are going to get very busy and there will be some changes and big projects. For work this is what happens in September, the phones all start ringing around the 1st because people realize its 4 months till Christmas and if their aunt Layla is coming they need to renovate their kitchen baths and guest bedrooms. Also for work we are 4 weeks out from the Georgies, these are big awards in the Renovation business, and they take a LOT of work to prepare.

In personal, I know that starting Tuesday I am upping my fitness to twice a week with one life coaching on Thursdays, this is great, I have been loosing lots of weight still and trimming up but its like we are at the last 10- 15 pounds and its going to have to take extra effort to get there. I have also been feeling that there are going to be big changes in me, I have been working on all of my life coach stuff and I really feel that I have been cocooning or resting up for big changes. I can feel it in my body.

Since my birthday is in September I always feel it is where my year begins. So I am going to celebrate today, rest up, and say bring on September, bring on the changes.

New updates and posts coming

2010-08-28T17:12:00.000-07:00

So I have neglected this for quite some time, but I really feel that this revisit to my blog will stick. I have some time in the mornings now since my new phone delivers my emails directly to me all day long I no longer need to get up in the morning and check to see whats in my inbox, in fact I can see all my emails, facebook and tweets before I open both eyes. Its been a bit of a daily habit to get up in the morning and check emails while I enjoy my coffee but now I can update my blog!!

I am also going to start using this as more of a journal, I am pretty sure that Magda is the only one who reads it anyhow so really whatever I put in here is only for me.

This summer / year has been an interesting one, amazing no doubt.. there has just been lots happening in my life. I have still been doing lots of life coaching and training, my life coaching has been back and forth, I have progressed leaps and bounds this summer but have still been falling back every now and then. I have a strong sense that those fall backs are done, this past couple of weeks have been really powerful for me in my realization and awareness. I have been practicing being present, I had no idea before what this feeling could be since I don't believe I had ever been fully present before. I had thought that I was, and even now I am sure there is even more to learn about being present and taking charge of the NOW.

I have been discovering a lot about myself and who I am and what I truly believe in. I have been reading 7 Habits for highly Effective People - Steven Covey for the second time, I read it the first time last year, at that time I was still going at everything so fast and I only applied and absorbed the information that I wanted to and applied it to work, funny though because it says right on the front of the book powerful lessons in personal change.

Since I have started to read it for the second time there is so much in the book that I never before got, and it is really opening my eyes as to what I have been doing my whole life and how I can change so many things in how is see and do everything. In fact for the most part it has NOTHING to do with work, its all about being present and effective with your self.

Its been these last two books, this one and the previous The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that have hit me hard this summer, I wasn't aware before how much energy I had been using on mindless thoughts and riff raf in my head. I have always run things around in my head a hundred times and over thought most situations, lots of energy spent on things that haven't even happened or things that ever will, I was wasting my energy on things that I had no reason to be worrying about or had any control over.

So needless to say in the past couple of weeks with this new information I have been thinking lots about the things that should be in my life, now the step is to apply, and do. This is where my blog / journal comes in. Its important for me to keep writing and journals to keep all of this new active in my life. Today I am also going to begin writing my personal mission statement, its been on my mind lots this week and well today is the day it comes out.

Today's Quote from my book - "The unique human capacities of self-awareness, imagination, and conscience enable us to examine first creations and make it possible for us to take charge of our own first creation, to write our own script. Put another way, Habit 1 says, "You are the creator" Habit 2 is the first creation."

Nothing works unless you work it.

ahhh I am sorry!!

2010-02-24T18:06:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am sorry.. I got caught up in everything and quit posting... BUT.. dont fear I am back.

Things are going well - I am currently making some yummy yummy soup listening to the Canada VS Russia game on tv.. now I am not a huge hockey fan but I am caught up in it being that it is in this city and the downtown is FULL of people cheering and going nuts.

I have been working on my life coach and training still, I have switched to training twice a week, and then every other week we do life coach. There has definitly been some tough times this year already with letting go of old beliefs and making room for new.

I did take a trip to Tofino for the weekend, that was a great - just time away to think and walk the beaches

then off to LA - that was the first trip I have been on that I have not gone to see my parents in 7 years.. Dont get me wrong I LOVE my parents but being in LA walking the streets by myself, taking pictures was the best holiday I have had in a long time.. I packed so much into each day and I was SOOO engergized from everything, I should have been really tired everynight but I just wanted keep going.

The first evening we went to a Edmonton VS LA hockey game -(I know lots of hockey-- weird) that was fun, then friday morning I toured up to the Walt Disney Concert Hall - Designed by Frank O' Gerhy very beautiful piece of architecture!! meandered inside and after about and hour of self touring one of the guides asked me if i had paid to be there and advised me to sign in and pay .. since i was pretty much done... i calmly walked passed the security and left... haha suckers!

I went back to the hotel and met with Samatha (we were traveling together and shared a room she had to work tho) and I took off to Santa Monica with two of Sams co -workers, Tanis and Susan. we had a great day I LOVE SANTA MONICA!! the beach the pier the colors everything.

MMm I am going to eat dinner and contiue this in a bit.. i am sure its getting long to read anyhow.

Back in Black

2009-11-14T18:23:00.001-08:00

So I am back,, I took a bit of a break there, I have been a tad busy with things - lots to update tho... mmmm lemme see.. I have continued with my boot camps and training and life coaching still loosing weight like mad.. I just gave a load of clothes to another friend who has joined the JADE train so that felt good, also bought hot coffee for a couple of people sitting on the sidewalk asking for change, they were really happy for it so it made me happy to provide it, you have to give back like that, its considered an act of thanks to the universe.

OH yeah I am very happy to hear momma Vince made it through her stuff and am happy she is having a healthy recovery..

My Mom and Dad AND sista are coming down in a couple of weeks for 5 mad man shopping days WHOOP .. I even got my boss to buy an extra ticket for my sister to a Work christmas party that I need to attend so while they are here bon and I get to get all dolled up and go out for dinner and dancin I am super excited it should be fun.

just a quick few pics of the success - these are from Last Friday night at the Vancouver Aquarium Toast to the Coast.

The run - the finish - the results - the recovery

2009-10-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

Okay so it has definitely been a while since i last posted, i think being busy and recovering has just been enough to fill each day.

As you know i did my very first 10k it was AMAZING!! I completed it in 1 hour 5 min. I am so proud of myself for doing it and completing the whole thing running! I far surpassed my January goal of being able to run for 45 min on the sea wall. In fact I have surpassed a couple of my goals, my fitness goal is well on its way.

But i am feeling a need for a bit of a change, of coarse after my run i didn't slow down, i went to boot camp on the Tuesday and training on the Wednesday, which resulted in me missing a day of work on Thursday to recover, this was the start of the changes. its like the run broke me and now things are going to change. First i finally got my raise on Friday ! WHoop!

Some one also mentioned to me that i have spent a lot of money on my new body and should be showing it off...very true.. so this has got me thinking also, yesterday i wore a cute little hat, and a nice belt around my waist, and let me tell you anyone who has experienced any weight issues or confidence issues would never ever be putting a big o'l belt in the area which you constantly are trying to hide. so that was a big step for me,and i am getting used to this shinny new body, i think this is the first time EVER i actually feel delicate and petite.

anyhow so i am thinking about a couple of changes in my current routine, i would like to spend a bit more time on my mental health and spiritual health and swing the pendulum back a bit. i am so happy with the results of my physical health and want to continue to shape and loose, but i would also like to spend a bit of time with my camera and my paints and my books. I think i got really got excited about my physical changes and pushed the pendulum a bit far to that side, i forgot to check in with myself on where i was at with energy levels and mental state.

anyhow, i will keep you updated on where things are at.

cant come up with a title today :)

2009-10-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I had a block and didn't know what to call this post. But I do have some updating to do for sure, last I posted was my birthday, We had our pool party - which was way to friggen cold to be in the pool so we all ended up at the apartment. It was great though so many people showed and it was like they came in waves so there was constantly people here.

My good friend whom I have been spending ridiculous amounts of time with and yet not dating didn't show, apparently there were very important things. Whatever.. basically since they didn't show up I was that's it no more, I have been here before and I am done with you!!

Needless to say thank you universe because i decided to go out that night, a lil dancing for my birthday wouldn't hurt, so we headed off to library square but it was just so dead looking in there we decided to head over to the Roxy - now the Roxy can be so much fun and really the old bec really liked it there cause it was like for sure * if she wanted it. the old bec almost got it too! but the new bec the one that has been doing her homework, and focusing and breathing and realizing what she really really wants walked away!

as I was walking away and heading out to go home, I stopped to talk to a gentleman who I had made eye contact with earlier but never talked to. Turns out he was delightful!!! we talked for like 20 min outside and I gave him my # .. Monday morning I get the first txt.

since then I cant even tell you how many txt we have exchanged back and forth, we have been talking on the phone and once my race is done He will be taking me on our first date.!!!!!!!!!

This guy is great! sweet and kind, so funny he has an infectious laugh . oh man ....

anyhow that is how the universe works for me, this is really the closest thing i have had to a relationship since Smithers and i love it!! i am so looking forward to all the rest of it.

Holla universe ahhh thank you again.

oh yeah - ps on Monday the 12th I plan to run my first 10k - I think I have posted about it

Hollaaaa

2009-09-30T06:58:00.001-07:00

I would like to shout out to everyone (even though they may never see this) For all the amazing love, support and birthday wishes! I feel blessed to have so many amazing people in my life.

Birthday Birthday its my Birthday - soon

2009-09-25T22:54:00.001-07:00

AHhh haaaaaaa it's my birthday on the 29th and this weekend I have decided to throw a pool party birthday BASH!!! I am very excited it will be the last day the pool is open in my building so what the hey have a party for that too..

Dee your so invited - I wish you could come
Magda so invited - doubt you come but I know you would if you could get across the water in 24 hours. :)

so I will be taking lots of photos and creating lots of gossip which should fill a few posts over the next few days.... keep checking...

Happy Birthday Message

2009-09-22T20:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday TOOOOOOOOOOOO you Happy birthday TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you Happy birthday DeEAAAAAAAAAAR mAAAAAAAAAAGGDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAA.... (breath) Happy Birthday toooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

So for you today Magda I present you with a few photos I have of us - or just you - I don't think you know about the first one, I drew this about 8 years ago. One thing I want to make sure is that you - Magda - know that I love you and you still maintain at the very top of my pedestal.... ---------------------------------hugs----------------------------------------

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Clamshell Sit Ups!

2009-09-17T22:13:00.003-07:00

Okay so here is the deal with the Clamshell Sit Ups, THEY ROCK! they don't hurt while your doing them but OMG the next day incredible results and pain... all good. So with Magda inquiring I have done a few shots.. mind my living room I had to be creative here with the 10 sec timer on my camera.

So sit with the bottoms of your feet together, as if you were stretching,

Lay down on your back with your arms straight in the air above your chest - palms together - feet still in the same position -

and you sit up extending past your feet stretching forward - this is where the money is! this extra little extension is whats going to get the job done. Since your not using your feet or legs at all your entire core is working here

Do 20 - 20- 20 for a few days then do 20-40-20

let me know how it works out.. your going to LOVE them..

Sucsess!

2009-09-17T06:58:00.001-07:00

Alright, so I have been putting a few things out into the universe for a while now, 1- I wanted to have a pay increase at work - I work my but off and get half of what the other designer gets - given he is more of a senior designer but there is a ton more I do. Nevertheless I am grateful for the opportunity I had to discuss my wages with my boss yesterday. I got a 10% raise which is pretty damm good.

I have also been talking to the universe about my 10k coming up in a couple of weeks - my very very first 10k -- in fact so new that it was only 3 days ago I was only able to run for 15min at 4.5 on the treadmill, Tuesday I am happy to say I did 30 min at 5.0 and thank you very much yesterday I did 5k at 5.0-5.3 THIS IS HUGE in my world. not only was I doing these runs, but I am still in boot camp and training so there is all kinds of strength training on top of that-

yesterdays HRM read
Duration 1.23 hours
in the zone 1.08 hrs
AVG HR 150
Max HR 186
Calories 811

whooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My knees are a bit sore today, and from the boot camps and training my abs - we are doing these things called clam shell sit ups OMG killer cause you cant feel them when your doing them you could go all day but killer the next day.

I keep spinning a few affirmations in my head as I run and as I go through each day right now - Dr Wayne Dyer says
" there is no such thing as stress - it doesn't exist - you can prove to me that stress exists - go out and bring me back a bucket of stress- doesn't happen! Its a trick our brain plays with us."
so going through my head is - where is my bucket of pain - where is my bucket of tired - I surrender to the universe -

I surrender to the Universe- keep bringing IT!

THANK YOU UNIVERSE

2009-09-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today I went down to Winners to check out some shoesand ran into the CCMA awards fanfest on Granville St, so I ended up hanging out for like 3 hours today watching Johnny Reid, Jessie Farrell, Aaron Pritchett, Doc Walker, Shane Yellowbird, Deric Ruttan, Tara Oram, Dean Brody, Steven Lee Olsen, The Higgins, Jason Blaine, One More Girl, Ridley Bent, Victoria Banks, Terri Clark, JD Bigsby, and so many more LIVE - what a day!! Then met up with Jade and Stephanie and checked out Kathy Frank up on Main st!! my amazing musical day!

Thank you universe!

Divine Guidance

2009-09-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF SHOULD BE THAT OF A SPIRITUAL BEING WHO'S FREE OF LIMITATIONS AND WHO TRUSTS THAT DIVINE GUIDANCE IS AVAILABLE AT EVERY MOMENT!!

I have this great new revolving calender, it has no day of the week on it just the date so I can re-use it every year and it is all quotes from D. Wayne Dyer. LOVE IT it makes each morning a lil reminder...

so I have been working on stuff - doing alright, I need to be putting a bit more effort into this running deal, I really say I take it seriously but have been feeling like I am lying a bit.. its like on some things I go forward all the time and some I go back..

I have been doing boot camp though, the last time was Tuesday, Wednesday was life coach,, good session! I have been that I can no longer be telling everyone to F*ck off... COME ON... I know its cause I don't need to be burning bridges all around me and having everyone think I am a horrible person....

I was at the Western Living Designer of the Year Awards on Thursday, very fun, first when I went to go get changed to go I discovered none of my pants fit- now this is a good thing, ,, but when you only have 2 min to find pants and NOTHING will stay on your hips... you start to curse a little... needless to say I ended up rocking a grey skirt and tall black boots with my blue top it all worked out...

oh yeah the other thing I learned is that with all the weight loss, I am in a new weight class for having some drinks... yeah couple of glasses of wine, one beer and one caesar - oh and maybe a shot but over the course of 6 hours... I know I know all the mixing but seriously I was always the person who did a shot with every drink just to keep up to people - and I woke up on Friday with an ugly hangover... wTF. lesson learnt!

Last night went to a BBQ for a friends birthday, fun fun, I was tested again by the universe, an individual from my work, who has been pushing up on me, txt me last night and wanted to know if I was still at my friends - my first beer induced thought was mmmmmm maybe... my reality thought was NONONONONONONONO so I txt back and said I was already leaving and headed home - g-night... GOOD GIRL bad that I txt back but at least I stopped it there.

tonight tonight is going to be the most fun!! I accidentally double booked myself again to be at 2 places at the same time - again one in Vancouver and one way way out there - did it the time I was supposed to be at Dees to see Magda and booked a book club meeting at my place the same day. SO tonight I am supposed to be out in New west for my good friend shayla's birthday but realized I booked all these plans to go out with Jade and group - i booked it - to see a blues band play at main st. so unfortunately because New west is not in reach for me and i don't have a car and i don't have a place to stay - its going to have to be another time for me to be out in NW. So tonight its blues night with jade and Stephanie and hopefully Todd.

I will take my camera so I can get some shots of the evenings events.

look forward to another HRM update - i plan to run today.

lil HRM update

2009-09-07T11:27:00.001-07:00

I was out in Richmond this morning for the 6am boot camp.. today's totals
48 min total
48 min in the zone
avg HR 149
max HR 184
calories 463.

This is fun, I am liking doing this, I have one more boot camp this week, Tues night at 6:15 I need to do some journal writing today, relaxing, I have cleaned my house 3/4 done. I have done so much this weekend it looks like I will have to do laundry again..

I will have something more enlightening to talk about soon..

HRM

2009-09-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

Thats right.. I bought a HRM.. very cool! My summary is as follows

richmond boot camp 48 min
in the ZONE 34 min
average HR 153
max HR 184
appox calories.. 476. wHOOp

Tomorrow morning.. 6:00am richmond boot camp..

176 - 10k ... Tattoo? Progress Report! :)

2009-09-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

So I have been thinking about doing this post for a few days but in the mornings, 5:00-5:30 am it just never happened and when I go to bed at night, is when I think, shoot I should blog, anyhow it has been on my personal task list for a few days. So here it is, I want to tell you about my 176- this is the new number that is showing up and dropping every time I step on the scale WHOOOP!!

The funny thing about this number is I distinctly remember the day I hit 176 when gaining weight, I remember thinking, aw man, 176 shoot I need to get this under control. NOPE didn't do it then... so when I stepped on the scale a few days ago and saw 176 I thought OMG seriously! WICKED! quite the contrast to the first time I saw this number pop up before me.

I have made a commitment to Run a 10k the Vancouver Turkey Trot actually, it is taking place on October 12 at Granville island. I have never run a 10K or any kind of group run/activity like this so I am quite stoked for it! I have joined Jades Boot Camp two nights a week @ 6:15. then I am still doing my Training/coaching sessions on Wednesdays. This week was week one of Boot camp... it turns out also a training Wednesday so my abs are screaming at me right now, and I still have this evening to complete RALLY THROUGH!

So with the 10k on the horizon I have made an agreement/goal with myself that when I finish the 10k - running - I get to get my next tattoo!! very exciting, I believe Jade is going to go with and get another as well! this is almost more motivating than the thrill of completing my first 10K but I figure if I can complete this one, whats stopping me!

Okay so I currently have one tattoo it is the symbol for Happiness, smile, laugh, on my back more solar plexus area, this new one is the Enlightenment/ inspiration it is going to go above it. whoop!! here are the images. ... mmm the only thing am wondering is if I can put the two symbols for enlightenment above one another??? Magda help me out sista!
can it go like this? with the other character below? My other question is would it mean something else with the three in a line? anybody?

I've got the sun shining over my face...

2009-08-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

That is part of a song verse from Johnny Reid this is what I am listing to this morning. I woke up feeling a bit flat line so once my coffee was in me and plants were watered... I watered my plants instead of watching the news.... and I was thinking I do not wish to have this flat line feeling all day lets do something to fix this. One thing I often do when I get this feeling is go back to my homework from Jade my life coach, I read through them remind myself that only I can create today!!

Today I decided to go back through the books I have been reading from life coach, when I read books like these I dog ear pages that have interesting statements on them, I don't always know why I am saving that page until later.. today I would like to share some of those statements that have helped me create my day.

First book - Turn it UP! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer

"Repetition Aids Comprehension" Page 102

"The best students learn through frequent repetition. Conventional wisdom says that for information to be lodged in long-term memory it must be repeated ten or eleven times."

This has reminded me that everyday I must apply what I am learning about creating my dream everyday... everyday... everyday... every moment..

Book 2 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey

Page 239

Empathic Listening

""seek first to understand" involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives.

""Oh, I know exactly how you feel!""
""I went through the very same thing. Let me tell you about my experience""
"They're constantly projecting their own home movies onto other peoples behaviour. They prescribe their own glasses for everyone with whom they interact."

Book 3 - Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins

Page 246

"I've heard that the only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet, and over a century ago."

page 431 Quote

""If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."" - Thomas A. Edison

page 504 Quote
"" You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you"" - John Wooden

These may not effect you as much as they have affected me but these are all powerful words for me and they have turned my day around - I hope it helps you with your day!

Forgiveness

2009-08-17T22:24:00.000-07:00

ALrighty ... things are good here, the meeting went well - very well actually - it was a bit odd at first, I believe the first thing I said to JH was "hi.... do you feel like your going to vomit right now?" response..."um yeah..." so once we got over that, it was basic chit chat for the first 30 min..

I had called my good friend just before going into meet and was freaking out a bit, they were so sweet and offered to "drop in" if things were not going well and would rescue me. So about 45 min into it, my friend Adam stopped into check on us. It was very nice of him, I didn't need an out but it was still kind.

anyhow, after a bit of general I am here chat, we got right into it, JH started out by saying that he would love to say "I am sorry" but those words could not express what he really wanted me to know, he did say those three magic words - he said he really wanted to make sure that even if I stormed out and couldn't look at him all he wanted me to know was he never did it to hurt me and it was never meant to be something done to me....... agreement # 2....

it was good, he has made some progress in his life and has come to the realization that he has a sickness and he needs to get help for that.

I expressed my feelings towards him, I wanted him to know that I no longer feel anger or hatred towards him because I have forgiven him - I wanted to let him know that I was really happy for him for going and seeing people about his problems, and let him know that I have learnt not to take what he did personally and that it was his problem not mine, in fact it had nothing to do with me, and I now know that. I also wanted him to know that even though he has made some horrible mistakes he is still a good person.

always since JH and were friends back in the day when we were really close people would always get us in great photos cause we were stuck like glue to each other.

So we were right in the deep mix of things when I noticed a guy at the table across from us checking us out and I notice this man with a camera just looking at us. He apologized for interrupting and said that he had taken a great photo and hoped we didn't mind. I would like to share this photo with you. I am very proud of this ... you can see for yourself... first time in 3 1/2 years that two people who were so very close talking for the first time.

back at it...

2009-08-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am meeting with JH, this will be the first time other than some simple txting that we will have talked or looked at one another since ,.,.. well there isn't enough time, energy or space here to explain but nevertheless we are meeting... I feel I am not the only one here who is a bit nervous or anxious ,, I cannot really describe the feeling its like I am headed out to test my own ability to forgive, I believe and trust that I can, but since this is the first and major one... anyhow I will get through it, I have had a positive feeling about taking this step since it began a few weeks ago..

I realize that I am babbling here but its my blog so suck it up..

My body tells me such wonderful things, I know whats going on right now, I have a sty in my Eye, and it showed up on Sunday night Monday... the funny thing is I originally thought it was due to the friday night event, but on Sunday was when I had first planned to meet with JH, I cancelled because I had other things on my plate and I essentially avoided the situation, Tuesday I tried again, still giving other things in my life credit for my stye, came home cleansed my house and my self .. guess what nothing worked to heal my eye,,, today I am realizing that my body is giving me the - deal with it or I wont heal - option. So what is going on with this ongoing eye problem is me thinking I can avoid confronting my fears of hurt ,confronting my fear of failure of forgiveness and not dealing with stuff, and my body saying - guess what avoiding it because your afraid isn't going to work...

on that note I will (as my mother says) "grab the bull by the horns and get it together and just do it"

6:30 tonight...

I will keep you posted.

As Promised...

2009-08-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so as mentioned in my last post, I was on my way to a "come on Barbie lets go party" - party, the events which unfolded from this only go to prove to me that I should be trusting and believing in the ways of the universe. Now I know this may seem odd but for me it was really clear.

Lets start at the beginning. I was to go to the party dressed as 70's Barbie, so Friday night off I go, I have my whole costume. The evening is going well meeting lots of people, lots of laughs. My blond wig was a big hit since 90% of the guest thought it was my natural hair. As you can see in the photo here with Skipper and Career Barbie.

So when it was brought up that we were going to Doolins, I figured since nobody recognized me and my wig look pretty convincing that I would play it up as a different person that night. We headed out to only find out that a whole bunch of dressed up ladies - one even being in only a bikini and grass skirt - still had to wait in line.

So as we are waiting in line, Cougar Barbie (lol) meets these guys in line, a lovely couple of Icelandic men - love to tell you the names but still cannot pronounce them. So the evening goes on, people are reacting quite well to the Blond hippie, in fact so well that I ended up chatting it up with one of the very very nice men from Iceland. (BTW he didn't seem to care that I was dressed like a 70's Barbie and didn't mind finding out that I was wearing a wig)

..........details that your welcome to call me on but do not need to be posted on the Internet..............

Skip to Saturday morning, I am supposed to be doing some stuff for my work, going to a site and checking on the contractors to make sure they are okay and pick up the keys, I was supposed to do this between 10:00-12:00.

My phone rang about 6 times I, for reasons not mentioned above, I refused to leave my situation to be responsible and answer my phone and do my site visit.

So at 1:00pm Saturday, I am finally able to face my responsibility's of work and check my phone messages, Seems they figured it out themselves and had arranged to let another contractor take the keys until I got there. So 2 hours later than I told them, I went to the site which led me to run into the Client. Now this is where my trust in the way the Universe works comes in. The client seemed very happy to see there were contractors working on His place on the weekend and even happier to see that there was an employee who was checking on them to ensure the proper quality he was expecting. This which will lead to a happy client and from there many other positive things will happen.

Let me just run through this length of events the way I see it.
if i hadn't checked about the Party - I would have missed it - since I did - it led me to purchase a Blond wig, which led me to the party dressed like a hippie - which created a positive enough response that trusted to go out to a pub dressed like a hippie - which led me to meet Mr Iceland- which led to skipping all my morning responsibilities - which led to arriving at the site 4 hours later than originally thought - which led to me running into the client.

Coincidence - NO. Trusting the universe that this even as crazy and odd as it played out is exactly as it was supposed to happen - YES.

Needless to say, I will be letting things unfold as they are meant to be regardless of how crazy and possibly out of place they may seem at that moment because the reality is that these events have been played out by the universe to bring me exactly to the places I am supposed to be.

2009-08-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I found out today I am supposed to be going to a birthday party tomorrow night - the theme - "Come on Barbie lets go Party "- Party. We are dressing up like all different Barbie's. So in a bit of a panic I started looking for images that I could use to inspire my costume, I finaly just went to Party Bazar - costume place for those who do not know - got my bouncy blond wig and peace sign necklace and earrings and off to Winners to see what I could find. AMAZING it was like 1970 hit winners last night I found a wicked flowy colourful top - $10, Levis super light flair jeans - $11 and a hot pink purse with a big o' glitter studded peace sign on it (so not 70's I know but come on its so cute) $20

So I came home and checked to see what else I could do, well I happen to have this wicked vest which I call my rock star vest, "dirty light" leather vest with big fur collar and lining, I added a 2" ribbin around my blond wig and ta daaa - I look like 70's Barbie!! I forgot to mention my $11 Levi Jeans make my ass look like a gold mine!! Not kidding.

So I understand the plan is drinks and snacks at Nicoles and if things get out of hand - by experiance they will - we will end up going out to a pub DT called Doolins, I guess this is where all the guys from the World Police and Fire Games will be..... not going to say no to that one...

I will make sure to take lots of pictures and let you know how things go!!

Welcome

2009-08-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to write a blog, my friend Magda has one, her sister Dee, and their mom all have blogs. Dee was the one that really set this in motion, we had a great chat over some Blueberry wine one night and I have been thinking about it since. I normanly journal but I thought what the heck might as well share what I am experiancing in my life and see who shares this with me.

So here it is! I would like to start off by letting you know where I am at right now, I have been working with my Life Coach for the past six months and feel I have been making tons of progress, she is actually my Personal Trainer as well and an amazing person! We have ended up being great friends, which is the best kind of Coach anyhow. Two times a month I meet with Jade for Life Coach and two times a month we meet for Training. As it turns out I have been dropping weight like crazy, the more I work on myself, enlightenment and awakening, the more weight I loose, then I get to tone up with Jade when we train. It has been wonderful. From day one with Jade I have been given books and homework for my Life Coach, first was Turn it Up! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer, amazing book, took a bit to read since it was my first book, then Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, By Steven Covey, again amazing book, this one I read very quickly. Third was Awaken the Giant Within, By Anthony Robbins, this was a bit bigger of a book, what an amazing writer.

The most recently read was You'll See It When You Believe It, By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, this one has had a major affect on me. The last chapter of the book is all about forgivness, it reminds us that holding that hatred and anger towards people is not doing us any good, and in fact it doesn't matter how angry we get or how much we hate someone, they are not going to change, because they are just that way, and nothing we do will change that. The entire book is about how we are all connected, and things such as conicidence and luck do not exsist, it is all supposed to happen that way, and by sending out thoughts we create these moments and they happen because they are supposed to.

So as I read this chapter there was one particular individual that kept creeping in my mind (JH), a long time friend who wronged me and my family. I was crushed at the time and held a lot of anger for a long time but once reading the book and really being touched by the forgivness chapter I felt it was time to forgive them since being angry wasn't doing me any good. I finished the book and the Forgivness chapter just yesterday morning. When I got home (from holidays) I checked my email, not having been able to for a few days, and there it was... an email from JH, first thought... mmm this is suppose to happen.. it expressed that He had been on facebook and had run into my profile and felt that it was too much of a conicidence not to write and email. This is how the emails went...

"I landed on your page by sheer luck while trying to link to someone else's profile ( you must have been tagged in the photo), and I thought it was far to odd of a coincidence to not drop you a line of some sort.Frankly, I am not exactly sure what to put in the aforementioned 'line', except that, at least in your pictures (which I admit to totally looking at), you look blissfully happy... and I am whole heartedly happy for that. I really truly hope you are doing wonderful, and should you wish to send me a note back, that would be awesome... if not, I totally understand.Miss your smile, and again - I am glad to see your smile is just as jubilant. (as you can see - my spelling hasn't gotten any better).Best thoughts "

my response was this..

"I wouldn't say luck as much as fate, I was thinking of you today and feeling as I should contact you soon. I must be honest I have checked your profile from time to time to just to see where you are at, congratulations on your engagement! that is wonderful for you. I did receive your message a few years back after I graduated, I am sure you could understand I was not in a place to repsond.I have been working with my trainer and life coach in the last six months and it has really turned my life around. I would like to say that as much hurt and pain I felt towards you, I cannot hold onto that any longer, it does me no good. I would like to propose we meet for coffee, I know what is done is done and we cannot go back to where we were but I want you to know that I the friend I had I miss. I can also understand if you wish not to meet, maybe at a later time. I send you love."

and in return..

"First and foremost, I'll have you know that you just made me cry in the middle of my gamedesign class. It was fairly difficult to explain. (smiles)I would very much like to meet up, whenever/wherever you like. I wasn't actually sure if you were still in Vancouver or not, as I thought I saw you a number of times, most recently being on the padio of ... umm... (the name is eluding me right now). But I only catch you as an afterthought, and I am usually on the bus or driving so I never know for sure. I would like to add so much more, but I think it is better off in person. Anyways - let me know, and i'll be all over it."

Wow, I am feeling very good about this decision to forgive. I will let you know how coffee goes, and as the Life Coach contiues so does my journey....