So for the past while I have been lacking on the fitness and journaling and reading... really on all of it. Turns out I need those things. I have recently got back into getting into the gym but I am finding that my excesses get in the way of actually getting there sometimes. It comes in waves, I will be really ambitious for about two too three weeks then I stop for a while then back then stop. I ave finally swallowed the big pride pill and contacted a personal trainer again. I really feel that without the kick of the professional I am not really doing myself much good. So I am giving myself a second chance, a chance to get back to my goal weight with a trainer then maintenance. I would like to be a bit more responsible and independent this time with the training though. I want too meet with someone once or twice a month to check in on my success, push me a bit harder and move forward.
It really took a lot this morning to send the email to the trainer, I actually wrote the email then deleted it because a voice in my head (clearly not the good one) said "who are you to ask for help when before you had help and couldn't maintain where she got you?" And I started to doubt myself, I thought your right who am I to go to a trainer and say, I've done this before and I failed what trainer is going to help me then? Then after about 10 min of doubt and self pity I realized the voice who said that is not me, I can ask for help all I want, in fact why not, I clearly need help and I think I am stronger now to admit I need the training help than to continue beating myself up every time I don't train. At least If I am working with a trainer I have someone to go to when I am having trouble pushing myself. No one said I have to accomplish everything on my own. That is selfish and not in the good way.
Some people need help stopping habits, I need help to start them!
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