Friday, August 21, 2009

I've got the sun shining over my face...

That is part of a song verse from Johnny Reid this is what I am listing to this morning. I woke up feeling a bit flat line so once my coffee was in me and plants were watered... I watered my plants instead of watching the news.... and I was thinking I do not wish to have this flat line feeling all day lets do something to fix this. One thing I often do when I get this feeling is go back to my homework from Jade my life coach, I read through them remind myself that only I can create today!!

Today I decided to go back through the books I have been reading from life coach, when I read books like these I dog ear pages that have interesting statements on them, I don't always know why I am saving that page until later.. today I would like to share some of those statements that have helped me create my day.

First book - Turn it UP! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer

"Repetition Aids Comprehension" Page 102

"The best students learn through frequent repetition. Conventional wisdom says that for information to be lodged in long-term memory it must be repeated ten or eleven times."

This has reminded me that everyday I must apply what I am learning about creating my dream everyday... everyday... everyday... every moment..

Book 2 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey

Page 239

Empathic Listening

""seek first to understand" involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives.

""Oh, I know exactly how you feel!""
""I went through the very same thing. Let me tell you about my experience""
"They're constantly projecting their own home movies onto other peoples behaviour. They prescribe their own glasses for everyone with whom they interact."

Book 3 - Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins

Page 246

"I've heard that the only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet, and over a century ago."

page 431 Quote

""If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."" - Thomas A. Edison

page 504 Quote
"" You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you"" - John Wooden

These may not effect you as much as they have affected me but these are all powerful words for me and they have turned my day around - I hope it helps you with your day!

Monday, August 17, 2009


ALrighty ... things are good here, the meeting went well - very well actually - it was a bit odd at first, I believe the first thing I said to JH was "hi.... do you feel like your going to vomit right now?" response..."um yeah..." so once we got over that, it was basic chit chat for the first 30 min..

I had called my good friend just before going into meet and was freaking out a bit, they were so sweet and offered to "drop in" if things were not going well and would rescue me. So about 45 min into it, my friend Adam stopped into check on us. It was very nice of him, I didn't need an out but it was still kind.

anyhow, after a bit of general I am here chat, we got right into it, JH started out by saying that he would love to say "I am sorry" but those words could not express what he really wanted me to know, he did say those three magic words - he said he really wanted to make sure that even if I stormed out and couldn't look at him all he wanted me to know was he never did it to hurt me and it was never meant to be something done to me....... agreement # 2....

it was good, he has made some progress in his life and has come to the realization that he has a sickness and he needs to get help for that.

I expressed my feelings towards him, I wanted him to know that I no longer feel anger or hatred towards him because I have forgiven him - I wanted to let him know that I was really happy for him for going and seeing people about his problems, and let him know that I have learnt not to take what he did personally and that it was his problem not mine, in fact it had nothing to do with me, and I now know that. I also wanted him to know that even though he has made some horrible mistakes he is still a good person.

always since JH and were friends back in the day when we were really close people would always get us in great photos cause we were stuck like glue to each other.

So we were right in the deep mix of things when I noticed a guy at the table across from us checking us out and I notice this man with a camera just looking at us. He apologized for interrupting and said that he had taken a great photo and hoped we didn't mind. I would like to share this photo with you. I am very proud of this ... you can see for yourself... first time in 3 1/2 years that two people who were so very close talking for the first time.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

back at it...

Tonight I am meeting with JH, this will be the first time other than some simple txting that we will have talked or looked at one another since ,.,.. well there isn't enough time, energy or space here to explain but nevertheless we are meeting... I feel I am not the only one here who is a bit nervous or anxious ,, I cannot really describe the feeling its like I am headed out to test my own ability to forgive, I believe and trust that I can, but since this is the first and major one... anyhow I will get through it, I have had a positive feeling about taking this step since it began a few weeks ago..

I realize that I am babbling here but its my blog so suck it up..

My body tells me such wonderful things, I know whats going on right now, I have a sty in my Eye, and it showed up on Sunday night Monday... the funny thing is I originally thought it was due to the friday night event, but on Sunday was when I had first planned to meet with JH, I cancelled because I had other things on my plate and I essentially avoided the situation, Tuesday I tried again, still giving other things in my life credit for my stye, came home cleansed my house and my self .. guess what nothing worked to heal my eye,,, today I am realizing that my body is giving me the - deal with it or I wont heal - option. So what is going on with this ongoing eye problem is me thinking I can avoid confronting my fears of hurt ,confronting my fear of failure of forgiveness and not dealing with stuff, and my body saying - guess what avoiding it because your afraid isn't going to work...

on that note I will (as my mother says) "grab the bull by the horns and get it together and just do it"

6:30 tonight...

I will keep you posted.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

As Promised...

Okay, so as mentioned in my last post, I was on my way to a "come on Barbie lets go party" - party, the events which unfolded from this only go to prove to me that I should be trusting and believing in the ways of the universe. Now I know this may seem odd but for me it was really clear.

Lets start at the beginning. I was to go to the party dressed as 70's Barbie, so Friday night off I go, I have my whole costume. The evening is going well meeting lots of people, lots of laughs. My blond wig was a big hit since 90% of the guest thought it was my natural hair. As you can see in the photo here with Skipper and Career Barbie.

So when it was brought up that we were going to Doolins, I figured since nobody recognized me and my wig look pretty convincing that I would play it up as a different person that night. We headed out to only find out that a whole bunch of dressed up ladies - one even being in only a bikini and grass skirt - still had to wait in line.

So as we are waiting in line, Cougar Barbie (lol) meets these guys in line, a lovely couple of Icelandic men - love to tell you the names but still cannot pronounce them. So the evening goes on, people are reacting quite well to the Blond hippie, in fact so well that I ended up chatting it up with one of the very very nice men from Iceland. (BTW he didn't seem to care that I was dressed like a 70's Barbie and didn't mind finding out that I was wearing a wig)

..........details that your welcome to call me on but do not need to be posted on the Internet..............

Skip to Saturday morning, I am supposed to be doing some stuff for my work, going to a site and checking on the contractors to make sure they are okay and pick up the keys, I was supposed to do this between 10:00-12:00.

My phone rang about 6 times I, for reasons not mentioned above, I refused to leave my situation to be responsible and answer my phone and do my site visit.

So at 1:00pm Saturday, I am finally able to face my responsibility's of work and check my phone messages, Seems they figured it out themselves and had arranged to let another contractor take the keys until I got there. So 2 hours later than I told them, I went to the site which led me to run into the Client. Now this is where my trust in the way the Universe works comes in. The client seemed very happy to see there were contractors working on His place on the weekend and even happier to see that there was an employee who was checking on them to ensure the proper quality he was expecting. This which will lead to a happy client and from there many other positive things will happen.

Let me just run through this length of events the way I see it.
if i hadn't checked about the Party - I would have missed it - since I did - it led me to purchase a Blond wig, which led me to the party dressed like a hippie - which created a positive enough response that trusted to go out to a pub dressed like a hippie - which led me to meet Mr Iceland- which led to skipping all my morning responsibilities - which led to arriving at the site 4 hours later than originally thought - which led to me running into the client.

Coincidence - NO. Trusting the universe that this even as crazy and odd as it played out is exactly as it was supposed to happen - YES.

Needless to say, I will be letting things unfold as they are meant to be regardless of how crazy and possibly out of place they may seem at that moment because the reality is that these events have been played out by the universe to bring me exactly to the places I am supposed to be.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

So I found out today I am supposed to be going to a birthday party tomorrow night - the theme - "Come on Barbie lets go Party "- Party. We are dressing up like all different Barbie's. So in a bit of a panic I started looking for images that I could use to inspire my costume, I finaly just went to Party Bazar - costume place for those who do not know - got my bouncy blond wig and peace sign necklace and earrings and off to Winners to see what I could find. AMAZING it was like 1970 hit winners last night I found a wicked flowy colourful top - $10, Levis super light flair jeans - $11 and a hot pink purse with a big o' glitter studded peace sign on it (so not 70's I know but come on its so cute) $20

So I came home and checked to see what else I could do, well I happen to have this wicked vest which I call my rock star vest, "dirty light" leather vest with big fur collar and lining, I added a 2" ribbin around my blond wig and ta daaa - I look like 70's Barbie!! I forgot to mention my $11 Levi Jeans make my ass look like a gold mine!! Not kidding.

So I understand the plan is drinks and snacks at Nicoles and if things get out of hand - by experiance they will - we will end up going out to a pub DT called Doolins, I guess this is where all the guys from the World Police and Fire Games will be..... not going to say no to that one...

I will make sure to take lots of pictures and let you know how things go!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


So I have decided to write a blog, my friend Magda has one, her sister Dee, and their mom all have blogs. Dee was the one that really set this in motion, we had a great chat over some Blueberry wine one night and I have been thinking about it since. I normanly journal but I thought what the heck might as well share what I am experiancing in my life and see who shares this with me.

So here it is! I would like to start off by letting you know where I am at right now, I have been working with my Life Coach for the past six months and feel I have been making tons of progress, she is actually my Personal Trainer as well and an amazing person! We have ended up being great friends, which is the best kind of Coach anyhow. Two times a month I meet with Jade for Life Coach and two times a month we meet for Training. As it turns out I have been dropping weight like crazy, the more I work on myself, enlightenment and awakening, the more weight I loose, then I get to tone up with Jade when we train. It has been wonderful. From day one with Jade I have been given books and homework for my Life Coach, first was Turn it Up! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer, amazing book, took a bit to read since it was my first book, then Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, By Steven Covey, again amazing book, this one I read very quickly. Third was Awaken the Giant Within, By Anthony Robbins, this was a bit bigger of a book, what an amazing writer.

The most recently read was You'll See It When You Believe It, By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, this one has had a major affect on me. The last chapter of the book is all about forgivness, it reminds us that holding that hatred and anger towards people is not doing us any good, and in fact it doesn't matter how angry we get or how much we hate someone, they are not going to change, because they are just that way, and nothing we do will change that. The entire book is about how we are all connected, and things such as conicidence and luck do not exsist, it is all supposed to happen that way, and by sending out thoughts we create these moments and they happen because they are supposed to.

So as I read this chapter there was one particular individual that kept creeping in my mind (JH), a long time friend who wronged me and my family. I was crushed at the time and held a lot of anger for a long time but once reading the book and really being touched by the forgivness chapter I felt it was time to forgive them since being angry wasn't doing me any good. I finished the book and the Forgivness chapter just yesterday morning. When I got home (from holidays) I checked my email, not having been able to for a few days, and there it was... an email from JH, first thought... mmm this is suppose to happen.. it expressed that He had been on facebook and had run into my profile and felt that it was too much of a conicidence not to write and email. This is how the emails went...

"I landed on your page by sheer luck while trying to link to someone else's profile ( you must have been tagged in the photo), and I thought it was far to odd of a coincidence to not drop you a line of some sort.Frankly, I am not exactly sure what to put in the aforementioned 'line', except that, at least in your pictures (which I admit to totally looking at), you look blissfully happy... and I am whole heartedly happy for that. I really truly hope you are doing wonderful, and should you wish to send me a note back, that would be awesome... if not, I totally understand.Miss your smile, and again - I am glad to see your smile is just as jubilant. (as you can see - my spelling hasn't gotten any better).Best thoughts "

my response was this..

"I wouldn't say luck as much as fate, I was thinking of you today and feeling as I should contact you soon. I must be honest I have checked your profile from time to time to just to see where you are at, congratulations on your engagement! that is wonderful for you. I did receive your message a few years back after I graduated, I am sure you could understand I was not in a place to repsond.I have been working with my trainer and life coach in the last six months and it has really turned my life around. I would like to say that as much hurt and pain I felt towards you, I cannot hold onto that any longer, it does me no good. I would like to propose we meet for coffee, I know what is done is done and we cannot go back to where we were but I want you to know that I the friend I had I miss. I can also understand if you wish not to meet, maybe at a later time. I send you love."

and in return..

"First and foremost, I'll have you know that you just made me cry in the middle of my gamedesign class. It was fairly difficult to explain. (smiles)I would very much like to meet up, whenever/wherever you like. I wasn't actually sure if you were still in Vancouver or not, as I thought I saw you a number of times, most recently being on the padio of ... umm... (the name is eluding me right now). But I only catch you as an afterthought, and I am usually on the bus or driving so I never know for sure. I would like to add so much more, but I think it is better off in person. Anyways - let me know, and i'll be all over it."

Wow, I am feeling very good about this decision to forgive. I will let you know how coffee goes, and as the Life Coach contiues so does my journey....