Trust and creating abundance

On my last post - detaching from drama I worked through some blockages I was having regarding work. The result of that. I got what I was hoping for the very next day. sooo I thought well why not write more about what I am looking to create. It seemed to work so lets try, it's all just energy right!

The thing about asking for exactly what you want is it doesn't leave room for the universe to surprise you with something better. I find in my life it is easier to ask for the qualities you want in something rather than the materialistic exact. For example Phil and I are looking for a home, our first home actually and this is the first location I have ever lived that I actually care to own and put roots. We both have great jobs and I actually think Phil might be getting his raise tomorrow.  We have been looking a couple of houses I wrote down what qualities in a home we're looking for..


You will be surprised what will actually transpire if you put your wants out there to the universe without ego, vanity or materialistic expectations.

This is what I wrote:

The perfect house will become available to Phil and I through our real estate agent, this summer.  We will be notified before it goes on the market. Our house will be a little 1800sqft two level quaint home with a large fenced yard, with room for a garden and a fire pit. A carport and shed. It has hardwood floors and carpet in the bedrooms, tile in the bath. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths a large L shaped kitchen with room for the wood island. It has a dining nook with a patio door. Lots of light. Concrete foundation. The main bath will have a large soaker tub and large shower.  The roof and windows will be new and upgraded. We will get financing right away and it will be available to move into in 30 days from purchase. It will have a partly finished basement perfect for my gym and Phil's man cave. Available in my town. I know the universe has my back and supports me in every way. I ask for this affordable home for Phil and I, this or something better! I am grateful for everything the universe offers and brings my way. The flow of Abundance and prosperity are on my side.  The universe takes care of us, and we are grateful for it.

We ask for a home that is affordable for us so we can still enjoy vacations and treats. We ask that it be affordable to start our family. We ask that it is safe and enjoyable as our first home.

Abundance flows freely through me.
The universe hears me and is working with me to bring me what I need and want
I am grateful for the gifts the universe has brought to me already.
I am open to the flow of prosperity and abundance

Rebecca

Why moving forward can be so Damn hard

So I thought I would share my personal experience with this. Why moving forward is so Damn hard. I believe that in our subconscious mind we are very smart, and we remember things much clearer than our conscious mind can at times. Our subconscious mind also tries to protect us, it steers us away from challenges, and difficult decisions because it likes to be comfortable.  The main problem with this is that moving forward isn't easy. That is why most people stay put, don't change and don't dive into the conscious mind.

Well I have gone there before, I have dove head first into deep deep conscious mind waters and got it in my nose and ears and splashed and felt like I was drowning. But the more I explored the more I understood. I took on learning about awareness like a sponge and all a while I was working very hard on my personal fitness. If you refer back a couple years in this blog you will see these very lovely photos of me, looking very fit.  Well the reality is I stopped. Someone got into my thoughts and I put them on a pedestal, I was convinced the only reason I could have gotten to my fitness goals was because of them. And once I made a few changes in my life and that person left I quit. I pretended to continue but what I was really doing was getting comfortable, because without that person, why try. I had given all the credit to them.

Now being aware and being comfortable is a funny thing, because I can talk the talk all over talk town but I sure as hell wasn't walking any walk. I was simply spewing my to-date knowledge to others who were just a few steps behind me. And the control part of me was just fine with that, Keep a few steps ahead of everyone else and you'll be fine. Well the problem with this was I got lazy and complacent and I stopped doing any of the work and I regurgitated all the past books and re-read them thinking and fooling myself into thinking I was moving forward.

But then, I was invited to an online book club. And I thought SURE it's time, I could use a new book or four.  So I started reading again, NEW information, NEW learning moving forward in my thinking. Typically for me when this happens I move forward in my physical fitness as well. Now remember that for about 6 years I really haven't dove back into these waters. I had a boo boo and I covered it up with a big O'l band aid and I got comfortable and my subconscious mind liked that it kept me there for 6 years.  I aslo stayed in that place becuase I gave away my credit. But Reading this new book I was reminded that It was me who did all the work the first time and I can do it again.

So here I am reading something that is pushing my comfort zone, and I like it, so I start to do mini workouts again. Except now because I am exercising my brain and consciousness a bit more I decide I am going to push a bit harder in my workout. Perfect, Yesterday 15 quick min of weights, I come downstairs I shower and I'm talking to my fiance and I cry, randomly, I cry about something ridiculous.  It only lasts a few min the its gone. So today I work, I come home, I workout, I push a bit harder again, because it feels good. ALL A WHILE THINKING ABOUT LETTING GO and opeing my heart. I push. I complete 20 min of weights and core, I come down stairs still super wound up, I had an abundance of energy after work and after my workout but not positive energy, ANGER, SADNESS, FRUSTRATION its half the reason I pusher harder again today. So I go to shower and I start to cry, and my chest is tight and my muscles feel tight. I finished my shower with bloodshot cried eyes and I go to my fiance, ONE hug and I'm DONE. I cried for at least half and hour. Just sitting in the kitchen tears streaming down my face while watching Phil chop veggies.

And this is exactly what this post is all about.

I haven't been couch lazing and avoiding workouts because the workouts are hard. NO NO NO NO NO,... My subconscious mind KNEW this was all going to begin again. For me I release stagnant energy and energy blockages and SHIT by crying, It is just what my body knows to do with it. No I was avoiding working out because the AFTER IS HARD. Did you know emotion is stored in cells, YES so when you workout for the first times and work hard, those cells are going to change and fat cells are going to leave your body and your going to loose weight but those emotions that energy isn't going to leave with the fat cells, not it needs to leave your body it's OWN way, ANGER, SADNESS, FRUSTRATION, all of it. is going to come out. THAT is why moving forward is do damn hard. Because our cells change when we work on our conscious minds and our physical bodies.

Most people get into awareness books and start physical fitness and then REALIZE all your SHIT is going to come up and release and it sucks its hard its overwhelming. And a lot of people quit at that point, they think that diving into the conscious mind or the physical fitness of our temple bodies is easy. it will be bliss full and enlightening.
OH it is.
LATER.
after the work is done.
But the work is hard.

So from now until I work through it all I accept that every night after my workout, I'll cry my eyes out, I'll curl up in a ball and weep. Then when those emotions are gone, I might experience anger or frustration until that too is gone. But I'm IN all IN.  Bring on the tears

R

Great post

 SO I was going over my stats on my blog and saw that this particular post out of all the ones I have ever written got over 140 visit, I am wondering if this is the one that got my blog in places like Russia, yes, that is my top third place that reads or visits my blog. I've never been, and actually would love to hear back from some of these Russian people who apparently read my blog. Or for that matter, anyone who reads my blog, feedback would be great.

Anyhow on to the good stuff. So seeing that this is the top read post I have I thought I would read it over, (wow I was really in a good place here, need to get back to that) and it is a great post, so here is is again just because I need to see this again and maybe you do too!  Please enjoy



I am currently reading Dr Wayne Dyer (love him) The Power of Intention, learning to co-create your world your way. So this is a great book, I was hearing a lot about intention and acting and speaking with intention... these words stuck in my head but I really didn't understand what that meant to do these things. I think that I have posted about it earlier, but this book is great, it really gets down and explains what it means. So one of the greatest things about intention is that everything is created twice, first as a thought... so I started to acknowledge and listen to the thoughts that were CONSTANTLY running through my head... they were just silly, I was worrying about alllllll kinds of shit that had NOTHING to do with me. I was thinking about situations and problems that didn't even exist... what a waste of energy!

Not only was I thinking about usless shit, I was telling myself and surrounding myself with all kinds of horrible negative things. Hence it was the greatest thing to quit my job. Seriously..

Once I realized what my inner dialog was, I was able to know that if I could have these thoughts that I could just as easily have others... positive thoughts, thoughts of gratitude, love, kindness, creativity, beauty, abudance and expansion.

Being grateful for EVERYTHING, its all a gift, even if it sucks, we have all been there... something crappy has happened and at the time we are like SHIT>>> not cool.. but later sometimes even much later.. the thought comes to us ohhhhhhhhh I now see why the crappy thing happened.. and if it didn't I wouldn't be having this good thing happen now...

Being grateful for everything is just that. saying daily thanks for what the day has brought. you can thank God if that's what you want to call it, the universe, the source, the heavens, its all the same, its the higher energy that creates us with .. here it comes,, intention.... intention as explained in this book is like this... an apple seed is created with the intention to become a beautiful tree, which produces flowers, and more apples.. with more seeds full of intention to create more apples... the seed the tree nor the apple say... what do I do now? they don't say I'm not good enough to be the tree, the apple, the flower, it just knows.. we are all made from the same .... stuff,,, we are all created with intentions.

The way to tap into this is to do things like knowing that we are all connected, all of us, everything! what gets in the way is EGO.. ego says I am alone, I am different than you, I am not the same. YES YA ARE.. we are all souls and spirits... we are all part of a much much much --- larger abundant world.

I say thanks for things in my day that I would otherwise bitch about before, or never acknowledge... Like the rain or the wind, the sun coming through my window. the smile I received from the stranger. All of them are little blessings that should not go unacknowledged.

I am finding that with gratitude, I am able to practice the other things mentioned, Love, beauty, kindness, creativity, expansion, and abundance. actually is pretty easy once you learn gratitude, you then love everything because you know that its been brought to you because you are grateful for it, and then you find it beautiful, with that your creativity starts rolling, and when your on it like that your more likely to practice kindness to others, they cant piss you off your full of love beauty and creativity, with those ingredients brings expansion because you start to think outside the box, "wait I can do that, if I i don't know how now, I sure can learn how" constantly expand your limits.. then comes abundance... once you know you can learn and expand,, you also know that like your potential, everything in life is of abundance, like air... and space..

Light bulb... now its time to act on it... just reading about it, and thinking about it wont get it done, that the second creation,,, making it happen.... one step at a time if needed. I made a new rule in my life.. I must smile at EVERYONE I make eye contact with... funny how many people catch your eye. I smile all friggen day! whoop whoop

Nothing works unless you work it!

A fresh start, from my perspective

This week signifies a fresh start for me, at least I think so. This past few months have probably been the most difficult that I have ever had to work through. I feel like I have come through the mud and put down the weight of the worlds worries and said that is it.

(this is my meditation Buddha, He is happy)

I am going to start off by saying 

I am so very grateful for having been through it, I have learnt about myself and others. I feel gratitude towards the universe for providing for me when I didn't know how I was going to make it.

I was on medical EI for the past 3 months and was off sick for the 2 months before that, basically since Feb I have not worked, at a job that is. I have worked very hard on myself though. I was in deep deep depression and was past my limit of stress. For the first two months I just slept, bathed, ate, slept repeat, at least 3-4 times a day.

But with plenty of rest, love and support, counselling, writing in a journal, some exercise, meditation and a strong personal Will to heal, I have come through.

For the last month and a half I have been feeling normal ish again, no deep sinking feeling, less anxiety, head above water type of feeling.

In the last two weeks I have been feeling great, each day is brighter and even if I do get low or feel overwhelmed or anxious I can manage those feelings now.

Now for the exciting part, as of Monday June 17th I will be starting my Interior Design business. I have made the decision that working for another company is not for me and I am going to pursue my dream of doing Interior Design as my own company.

I will be updating more often as I find writing out in a blog to an audience that may not even be there is soothing for me.

Getting back to the core

So for the past while I have been lacking on the fitness and journaling and reading... really on all of it. Turns out I need those things. I have recently got back into getting into the gym but I am finding that my excesses get in the way of actually getting there sometimes. It comes in waves, I will be really ambitious for about two too three weeks then I stop for a while then back then stop. I ave finally swallowed the big pride pill and contacted a personal trainer again. I really feel that without the kick of the professional I am not really doing myself much good. So I am giving myself a second chance, a chance to get back to my goal weight with a trainer then maintenance. I would like to be a bit more responsible and independent this time with the training though. I want too meet with someone once or twice a month to check in on my success, push me a bit harder and move forward.


It really took a lot this morning to send the email to the trainer, I actually wrote the email then deleted it because a voice in my head (clearly not the good one) said "who are you to ask for help when before you had help and couldn't maintain where she got you?" And I started to doubt myself, I thought your right who am I to go to a trainer and say, I've done this before and I failed what trainer is going to help me then? Then after about 10 min of doubt and self pity I realized the voice who said that is not me, I can ask for help all I want, in fact why not, I clearly need help and I think I am stronger now to admit I need the training help than to continue beating myself up every time I don't train. At least If I am working with a trainer I have someone to go to when I am having trouble pushing myself. No one said I have to accomplish everything on my own. That is selfish and not in the good way.

Some people need help stopping habits, I need help to start them!

Taking care of your body

Last week at work I was helping a co-worker install a small sample sink in an island and I twisted my back, I didn't think it was too bad at first but as the day progresses it got worse, I ended up calling my Chiropractor (I have been going for years and let me tell you it helps) and getting an emergency appointment. She worked on me for about 10 min (long for chiro) and I was off, let me tell you, it HURT for the night, very very swollen back and sharp pains, the next day I stayed home from work to avoid any situations where I may re-injure myself (smart) and within two days I have made full recovery. I have another co-worker who has hurt her back two weeks ago, never sourced any chiropractor or Registered massage therapist and she is still taking high powered pain killers, my point, these people are here to help us. Use them.

I hear a lot about ohh bone crackers and massage doesn't work. Yes it does, the other thing that helps, exercises and stretching daily. I may not exercises daily right now, or even weekly at this moment but I stretch daily. I keeps our body's in shape so that when accidents do happen we can bounce right back. Now on the chiro bit, I have learnt a lot from my Chiropractor she makes sure to teach you why chiro works so well in the first place, well.. sorry to side step here, but apparently the information about chiro and subluxations are very controversial and not all chiropractors believe in it... mmm this may have to take some research and I will get back to you.