Trust and creating abundance

On my last post - detaching from drama I worked through some blockages I was having regarding work. The result of that. I got what I was hoping for the very next day. sooo I thought well why not write more about what I am looking to create. It seemed to work so lets try, it's all just energy right!

The thing about asking for exactly what you want is it doesn't leave room for the universe to surprise you with something better. I find in my life it is easier to ask for the qualities you want in something rather than the materialistic exact. For example Phil and I are looking for a home, our first home actually and this is the first location I have ever lived that I actually care to own and put roots. We both have great jobs and I actually think Phil might be getting his raise tomorrow.  We have been looking a couple of houses I wrote down what qualities in a home we're looking for..


You will be surprised what will actually transpire if you put your wants out there to the universe without ego, vanity or materialistic expectations.

This is what I wrote:

The perfect house will become available to Phil and I through our real estate agent, this summer.  We will be notified before it goes on the market. Our house will be a little 1800sqft two level quaint home with a large fenced yard, with room for a garden and a fire pit. A carport and shed. It has hardwood floors and carpet in the bedrooms, tile in the bath. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths a large L shaped kitchen with room for the wood island. It has a dining nook with a patio door. Lots of light. Concrete foundation. The main bath will have a large soaker tub and large shower.  The roof and windows will be new and upgraded. We will get financing right away and it will be available to move into in 30 days from purchase. It will have a partly finished basement perfect for my gym and Phil's man cave. Available in my town. I know the universe has my back and supports me in every way. I ask for this affordable home for Phil and I, this or something better! I am grateful for everything the universe offers and brings my way. The flow of Abundance and prosperity are on my side.  The universe takes care of us, and we are grateful for it.

We ask for a home that is affordable for us so we can still enjoy vacations and treats. We ask that it be affordable to start our family. We ask that it is safe and enjoyable as our first home.

Abundance flows freely through me.
The universe hears me and is working with me to bring me what I need and want
I am grateful for the gifts the universe has brought to me already.
I am open to the flow of prosperity and abundance

Rebecca

Rounding out 2016

Hey its been quite some time since I've posted. I see last was an angry rant from when my mother in law and sister in law to be were here and pissed me off.

I have recently revisited my blog, re-reading posts, analyzing where I was at, where I am at now, reflecting on my past.

I've been looking for my inner fire these past few months, you know that go get em attitude, that motivation that pushes past comfort. I am ready now to explore it again, but I seemed to have forgotten where I put it.   In the beginning of September I started on a search, I guess is the best way to put it, I started searching inward again. Having a look at my beliefs, my personal limits I've placed on my self, motivations, what keeps me sitting on the couch. And I think what I have realized is that basically I got lazy, I got comfortable, and I am starting to feel this is not who I want to be.

Overweight, tired, un-motivated, un-inspired and full of irrational fears. Yup, that is what happens when you stop doing the work. So now it's time. And one thing I have learned this past two months is when setting goals, intentions and manifesting your life, it is VERY important to manifest NOW. Yes that is correct, NOW. I discovered that what I was doing (barely) was saying things like "I am going to work out" or I am going to eat better" or I am going to start painting again" or things like "I want to start ...."

You get the point. But the problem with these statements is they are projected into the FUTURE. Once I realized that I started with "I am ready NOW to be strong. I am ready NOW to make smarter choices, I am ready NOW for creativity" I am finding for myself that I need all of these things together. Reading back I see I knew that, but seems I forgot.  In order to light my motivation fire, my creative fire I need to DO DO DO DO DO all of these things, because painting makes me feel good and working out makes me feel good and eating right makes me feel good.

I found a great photo of myself from back in the blog and realized that when I did look that great, I wasn't confident that I could 1. maintain it 2. own it 3. that is was really really good for me. I was simply doing what others told me to do. NOW in all my new 6 years older wisdom I see that I created my failure myself but not believing I deserved to look great. And by not believing it I created my own failure.

Now given my not believing I deserved to SHINE did not only come from inside my head. I am not one to pass the buck on things or place blame but I did grow up in a situation where frankly there was no more room for SHINY in our house. A certain family member took up all the room for being the most important one, and what this taught me was to be second. It taught me how to dull my light so that I didn't *what I thought* hurt peoples feelings, and I didn't make people feel less for me being awesome. It ingrained a belief that if I was thinner, successful, HAPPY and financially stable it proved them to be a failure.

I am still working through this one. I feel that because I have identified what happened and why I constantly stopped myself just short of success or when I did succeed I self sabotaged the efforts. And even reading back in my blogs, that photo of my super happy successful weight loss, I even mention that I am going to be visiting with family and I remember now that trip was what re-affirmed that I shouldn't be shiny. I remember the entire event.

Looking at it all now, I am ready to start again. Because I KNOW now what was holding me back and I KNOW now that I have every RIGHT to be as shiny as fuck. So with all these thoughts and blurbs on the page, I leave you with my old tagline.

Nothing works unless you work it. Peace out. R

Knowing Where you Stand.

It is amazing how hurtful and ultimately liberating it is to find out where you stand with people

Maya Angelou and Oprah said

“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
~Maya Angelou

"Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn't call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.” ~ Oprah Winfrey.

It is so true, But it isn't always easy to believe, especially if you're like me and you want to believe people are good. You want to believe that someone couldn't possibly be that cruel towards another person.  But they can be, and unfortunately THOSE people, those ones you hope are just having a bad day when they shit on you, Can be your friends your family, your in laws or someone very close to you.  Let me enlighten you.  They are not always having a bad day, some people are just cruel. And you know what, you are a great person, and didn't deserve any sort of shit treatment.  

This experience has recently happened to me, by both my to be mother in law and sister in law.  They both had sharp snake tongues, which I didn't deserve and I held my tongue. I played the higher ground and I kept my cool, for my Man.  And I have done this for 5 years because I though just maybe they were having bad days.  NOPE,  straight up mean.  

So now, after their most recent performances of true colors, I fully understand, they slipped up you see. They actually showed me what they truly thought of m. I don't believe they intended to, most of these type of people intend to, but every now and then they get cocky and let their EGO get in the way and they slip up.  

But as I said at the very beginning of this post, it is oddly liberating that this has happened. Because now I KNOW where I stand and what they truly think of me.  I don't have to try ANYMORE for them to like me, or accept me, I know now this may never happen. SO now I get to be ME!

I have bitten my tongue and kept my words in my stomach all these times and now I don't have to.

I can assure you, next time these people think they can treat me like shit, they are going to get a rude awaking, Because they are going to see I don't care what they think of me any more, I don't need their approval, 

I am proud of myself for figureing this out, sure it took me this long, but I got there. I hope anyone who reads this will also have a liberating moment when they too realize it doesn't matter what others think of you.

It matters what you think of you. And if you have your integrity, and you can stand up for yourself, even eventually, your a better person than them.  My mother always said to me. "Would you ever, ever do something to someone that they just did or said to you?" My response would always be NO

"then your already a better person"

Sending Love Light and Joy !!

Great post

 SO I was going over my stats on my blog and saw that this particular post out of all the ones I have ever written got over 140 visit, I am wondering if this is the one that got my blog in places like Russia, yes, that is my top third place that reads or visits my blog. I've never been, and actually would love to hear back from some of these Russian people who apparently read my blog. Or for that matter, anyone who reads my blog, feedback would be great.

Anyhow on to the good stuff. So seeing that this is the top read post I have I thought I would read it over, (wow I was really in a good place here, need to get back to that) and it is a great post, so here is is again just because I need to see this again and maybe you do too!  Please enjoy



I am currently reading Dr Wayne Dyer (love him) The Power of Intention, learning to co-create your world your way. So this is a great book, I was hearing a lot about intention and acting and speaking with intention... these words stuck in my head but I really didn't understand what that meant to do these things. I think that I have posted about it earlier, but this book is great, it really gets down and explains what it means. So one of the greatest things about intention is that everything is created twice, first as a thought... so I started to acknowledge and listen to the thoughts that were CONSTANTLY running through my head... they were just silly, I was worrying about alllllll kinds of shit that had NOTHING to do with me. I was thinking about situations and problems that didn't even exist... what a waste of energy!

Not only was I thinking about usless shit, I was telling myself and surrounding myself with all kinds of horrible negative things. Hence it was the greatest thing to quit my job. Seriously..

Once I realized what my inner dialog was, I was able to know that if I could have these thoughts that I could just as easily have others... positive thoughts, thoughts of gratitude, love, kindness, creativity, beauty, abudance and expansion.

Being grateful for EVERYTHING, its all a gift, even if it sucks, we have all been there... something crappy has happened and at the time we are like SHIT>>> not cool.. but later sometimes even much later.. the thought comes to us ohhhhhhhhh I now see why the crappy thing happened.. and if it didn't I wouldn't be having this good thing happen now...

Being grateful for everything is just that. saying daily thanks for what the day has brought. you can thank God if that's what you want to call it, the universe, the source, the heavens, its all the same, its the higher energy that creates us with .. here it comes,, intention.... intention as explained in this book is like this... an apple seed is created with the intention to become a beautiful tree, which produces flowers, and more apples.. with more seeds full of intention to create more apples... the seed the tree nor the apple say... what do I do now? they don't say I'm not good enough to be the tree, the apple, the flower, it just knows.. we are all made from the same .... stuff,,, we are all created with intentions.

The way to tap into this is to do things like knowing that we are all connected, all of us, everything! what gets in the way is EGO.. ego says I am alone, I am different than you, I am not the same. YES YA ARE.. we are all souls and spirits... we are all part of a much much much --- larger abundant world.

I say thanks for things in my day that I would otherwise bitch about before, or never acknowledge... Like the rain or the wind, the sun coming through my window. the smile I received from the stranger. All of them are little blessings that should not go unacknowledged.

I am finding that with gratitude, I am able to practice the other things mentioned, Love, beauty, kindness, creativity, expansion, and abundance. actually is pretty easy once you learn gratitude, you then love everything because you know that its been brought to you because you are grateful for it, and then you find it beautiful, with that your creativity starts rolling, and when your on it like that your more likely to practice kindness to others, they cant piss you off your full of love beauty and creativity, with those ingredients brings expansion because you start to think outside the box, "wait I can do that, if I i don't know how now, I sure can learn how" constantly expand your limits.. then comes abundance... once you know you can learn and expand,, you also know that like your potential, everything in life is of abundance, like air... and space..

Light bulb... now its time to act on it... just reading about it, and thinking about it wont get it done, that the second creation,,, making it happen.... one step at a time if needed. I made a new rule in my life.. I must smile at EVERYONE I make eye contact with... funny how many people catch your eye. I smile all friggen day! whoop whoop

Nothing works unless you work it!

NEW AND EXCITING

This past month has been really exciting for me!

I have finally FINALLY started my own business. I have been wanting this for years and always had too much fear. But after what I have experienced when you don't follow your dreams, fear was the smallest on my list.

Check out my new website!

www.designinteriors.ca

Rebecca

A fresh start, from my perspective

This week signifies a fresh start for me, at least I think so. This past few months have probably been the most difficult that I have ever had to work through. I feel like I have come through the mud and put down the weight of the worlds worries and said that is it.

(this is my meditation Buddha, He is happy)

I am going to start off by saying 

I am so very grateful for having been through it, I have learnt about myself and others. I feel gratitude towards the universe for providing for me when I didn't know how I was going to make it.

I was on medical EI for the past 3 months and was off sick for the 2 months before that, basically since Feb I have not worked, at a job that is. I have worked very hard on myself though. I was in deep deep depression and was past my limit of stress. For the first two months I just slept, bathed, ate, slept repeat, at least 3-4 times a day.

But with plenty of rest, love and support, counselling, writing in a journal, some exercise, meditation and a strong personal Will to heal, I have come through.

For the last month and a half I have been feeling normal ish again, no deep sinking feeling, less anxiety, head above water type of feeling.

In the last two weeks I have been feeling great, each day is brighter and even if I do get low or feel overwhelmed or anxious I can manage those feelings now.

Now for the exciting part, as of Monday June 17th I will be starting my Interior Design business. I have made the decision that working for another company is not for me and I am going to pursue my dream of doing Interior Design as my own company.

I will be updating more often as I find writing out in a blog to an audience that may not even be there is soothing for me.

You get what you think about

"You get what you think about whether you want it or not! So be careful about what you think about."

This is why my calender said yesterday, My Dr. Wayne Dyer calender. I am definitely experiencing this right now, in both professional and personal parts of my life. Personally I need to remember this during the course of my day, remember not to get caught up in the whoop la of other peoples problems or gossip. And to remember that the body heals itself when you let it.

I took a few moments yesterday morning to just sit quietly and breath, five or six deep breaths with my eyes closed just focusing on my inner being. Feeling my toes, my legs, my fingers my heart. Feeling the oxygen go into all my cells, when I opened my eyes again I felt happy and calm, I was starting to get twitchy and speedy and I needed to stop for just a second. Sometimes we all get caught up in our heads thinking about the future the what ifs and really we just need to be present. Being present doesn't mean no thoughts and no planning it means be in that moment while it is happening. There are times in the day for future thoughts, and planning, journal time for example is a great to plan and dream.

If anything that is the best lesson I have taken away from all the coaching and training I have done over the past years, take the time to just stop, breath, focus and start again.

A pattern in my postings

I posted the other day about a couple things and this morning I was checking my stats, I really enjoy checking to see where in the world people are reading my blog, it is very cool to see Russia and all sorts of places show up on my stats. As I was checking I saw that this past week one post in particular was being read. It was one I did a few years back just after I changed jobs and such. So then I started to read more of my blog, I noticed that I tend to blog in January, March, July, September, October November and December. My biggest month for posting is September.

This makes sense though, My birthday is the end of September and right around middle of August and right though until after my birthday my my body and mind tends to give me little signals, time to change beck, time to look at the bigger picture here!

I really see my Birthday as a start to my new year. This year I get to start again BIG it is a milestone birthday a new decade. It is funny though because when I mention it too people that I will be 30 this year, the people older than me tell me its great (which is what I am thinking) and people younger some seem to be afraid. One of my childhood friends and I chatted since our birthdays are a day apart, I was saying too her I am excited to start fresh I am in a great place in my life and I feel it can only get better, she as scared and didn't seem to be happy about turning 30. It got me to wonder, does she feel like this because she is not happy with where she is in her life? Did she not accomplish what she had set out too do by this time? Or is she not happy because she doesn't know herself and is only basing her life and where she is on the views of society and where it thinks she should be by now?

For me, yeah I am happy with where I am at right now, I have the love of my life, Phil, I have a great job and promising career, (yeah I thought I would be running my own design firm by now but there seems to be another plan at hand for me and I am okay with that) I am not in the physical condition I thought I would be in considering my previous experience with my personal trainer a couple years back but whatever I am doing something about it now. I have a new trainer and he will help me get back on my feet. There will always be things in life to work on and improve, if we are not constantly tyring to improve and move forward than we are standing still waiting for life playing a victim.

R

The World lost an Amazing Man and Nobody knew.

I just received an email from one of my regular subscriptions and I was sad to find out Dr. Stephen R Covey Passed away this week on July 16th. He was 80 years old and wrote many of my favorite and inspirational books. This man changed so many lives and the media only wants to talk about snookie and who looked better on the red carpet.

Being AWESOME!!

It has been a GREAT DAY!!!!! My Boyfriend (more serious than that he is my MAN life partner mastermind alliance) anyhow, My man just finished his schooling for Baking and he has been getting opportunities thrown at him today it is great SO PROUD. Aside from that the sun was shining and things are just looking really good for us right now. Which brings me to my post title, being AWESOME, I was reminded today again how important it is to have a partner that is right for you, Phil and I are without a doubt meant to be together, our core beliefs about a partnership and careers are very similar. We are equals in our partnership, all responsibilities are shared, money earned is ours and our careers are our own, we have a like for each others friends but in only some cases are we friends with each others friends. We support each other in what we strive for.

It makes for a much easier life having a partner who will support you in your life personally and professionally For example Phil is a baker, this calls for graveyard or early morning work hours, I am an interior designer and this calls for long hours some times and travel. We work with these realities.

It reminds me a book I really love and we both follow to our best ability - the four agreements

1.Be impeccable with your word
2.Never assume
3.Don't take it personally
4.Always do your best

It works - be AWESOME with everything you do, be awesome in your relationships be awesome with your self be awesome in your career - Trust.

Life, fitness, bob loblaw update

Funny that I should write this post today, I just read my friends Magda's and hers was all about how she hates Yoga.  I was just about to update how I have been doing Hot Yoga once a week and how much I love it. My fitness regime has picked up for sure, I am doing twice a week at the Gym anywhere from 30-45 min. I think in the last year I have been telling myself that I didn't have enough time, but the reality is there is enough time, 30-45 mins is better than 0 min. I am really enjoying the challenge again. I do have to say though that having had a personal trainer before has its benefits.  I can hear her in my head when doing my workouts pushing me to do another set, another push up 5 more, 1 more min. I wouldn't mind doing some more work with her once the opportunity arises. It would just be nice at least once a month to learn some new stuff.

Otherwise I am learning lots still at my job, It is definitely different than doing Design full time. I get to leave work at work. I was doing some design on the side, in the Mandarin community with a Design friend of mine. That is a line you must be careful with, working with friends and making friends at work and especially with bosses. Joy and I work well together we have an understanding. When it comes to business and issues, it is business, no personal allowed. I am currently dealing with a situation where in business an associate of Joy's is trying to pass the buck, place blame on everyone else, dodge her responsibilities. As a designer and strong personality I am not allowing it. She was emailing and phoning me to get my help to clean up her mess. I am not her babysitter so I am simply standing back.

Anyhow, this is sort of a random post.. lil of this lil of that. I will write again soon

B

inspiration, fear, uncomfortable, wasted energy

I last posted about limiting beliefs, what timing! I posted that I have a belief that I cannot commit, this is true. Why can't I commit, because I don't believe in myself that I will be able to do it. Self love.

This is what my journal says from last night. This is the list of things I need to do.

This is not task list that needs to be completed but these are things that will help me get to loving myself enough to know that I am capable of greatness.

-start saying no to you and YES to me.
-take more solitude time.
-sort out what it is that I really want, and really what is important to me, removing the emotion while doing this.
-ask for help
- meditate, practice prayer, put my trust in a higher power
- slow down
-surround myself with things and people that solidify the truth of self love. If I continue to surround myself with un-organization, uninspired people, indecisiveness, and low confidence then that's what I will become, and have become.
- allow me to just be me. As pointed out to me yesterday, I have taken the course and received a certificate to say I can be the Designer I am. I need to do the same for me.
- have faith that once I begin this journey to greatness that the universe will provide me with what and who I need at that time.
- trust that what come is there because I want it and that's why I have created it.
- I am the creator
- know that I am worth fighting for
- be the best I can be, and do everything in my power and awareness to create better

This is my list, not yours. This is my truths and I am going to strive to be in the 3% of greatness. I am scared Shitless, but I don't want to be in this false reality anymore.

A great mentor says, "Average people like being average because nobody bothers them"

I am putting this in my blog as a reminder for me, and to share with those who understand, if you want to tell me, don't be so hard on yourself, or you are an amazing person, don't worry. Don't. Please. I do not need to hear that.

This is only the beginning.