So I have had a loved family member move on today, she was an amazing inspiration and great woman, at 102 she was still looking to get feisty and asked me every time I saw her, if there were any hot men outside and if I could bring her one in. I loved my great gram, and today she moved on, I am upset, of course, but I want to celebrate her life. I asked her advise on her 100th Birthday,
"Gram, Its beck, I want to know since your 100 this year and I am 25, what advise can you offer your great grandchild of with your 75 years experience on me?"
"you like to dance beck?"
"ya gram I love to dance!"
"well beck, you got a man?"
"no gram, why?"
"well ... get one.. and make sure that he can hold onto the tables, because you must always always dance on the tables!"
Best advise I ever got!
So the title of my post comes from my anger towards my extended family, people started posting on FACEBOOK this morning that gram had passes, FACEBOOK, for goodness sakes, gram has hardly had time to leave her body! So not only is this of horrible disrespect, that is how my sister found out that gram had passed. It disgusted me today to find this out about what I am supposed to be calling my family.
I am posting this here, because well, really only two of you read this anyhow, and I am sure since its all over the fricken Internet, you have heard by now, also neither of you knew gram, and well this is my place to vent which nobody knows about. :)
So have seriously been considering deleting my Facebook page, Its gone too far for people, this whole addiction to technology is too much. People don't even have face time with one another any longer, you go for dinner and its phone this and txt and tweet and status updates! where is our humanity going? seriously... out the freaking window. I smile at people while walking down the street, and it seems foreign to some people like I must be up to something because I am making eye contact.
Anyhow, if you find that one day you go to find me on FB and I am gone, its not because I have escaped, I may just be without a page. You can get me here or email me or call me.
Favorite quote for today "Friends are Gods way of apologizing for our families" Dr Wayne Dyer
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
blog posting and dinner!
Wow its been a couple days ( weeks ) ma bad! but I am inspiried tonight to voice a few things, I am sitting here eating my dinner and checking things out online, I have come across a couple of words online and they have prompted me to let you know where I am at.
So things have been good with me, I changed jobs and am working at a lighting and plumbing store selling products, its good I actually really like sales its fun, plus I am learning new things everyday which really is a huge part of me. I am high energy so I need the stimulus of learning all the time, otherwise I will just get board.
I have been doing things a bit differently in my world, I am not currently working with my life coach or trainer, My budget is allocated to other living expenses at the moment but I know that once I am making some coin and saving up a bit I will definitly have her back, but for now its good. I have been incorporating running and some work outs into my week. Also there are many things that I have learnt in the past 2 years with my life coach that I have been working on, I still read most mornings and journal and meditate. I have been processing the things that we talked about and the things I am implimenting in my daily routine.
I am currently reading Dr Wayne Dyer (love him) The Power of Intention, learning to co-create your world your way. So this is a great book, I was hearing a lot about intention and acting and speaking with intention... these words stuck in my head but I really didnt understand what that meant to do these things. I think that I have posted about it ealier, but this book is great, it really gets down and explains what it means. So one of the greatest things about intention is that everything is created twice, first as a thought... so I started to acknowledge and listen to the thoughts that were CONSTANTLY running through my head... they were just silly, I was worring about alllllll kinds of shit that had NOTHING to do with me. I was thinking about situations and problems that didnt even exist... what a waste of energy!
Not only was I thinking about usless shit, I was telling myself and surrounding myself with all kinds of horrible negative things. Hence it was the greatest thing to quit my job. Seriously..
Once I realized what my inner dialog was, I was able to know that if I could have these thoughts that I could just as easily have others... positive thoughts, thoughts of gratitude, love, kindness, creativity, beauty, abudance and expansion.
Being grateful for EVERYTHING, its all a gift, even if it sucks, we have all been there... something crappy has happened and at the time we are like SHIT>>> not cool.. but later sometimes even much later.. the thought comes to us ohhhhhhhhh I now see why the crappy thing happened.. and if it didn't I wouldn't be having this good thing happen now...
Being grateful for everything is just that. saying daily thanks for what the day has brought. you can thank God if that's what you want to call it, the universe, the source, the heavens, its all the same, its the higher energy that creates us with .. here it comes,, intention.... intention as explained in this book is like this... an apple seed is created with the intention to become a beautiful tree, which produces flowers, and more apples.. with more seeds full of intention to create more apples... the seed the tree nor the apple say... what do I do now? they don't say I'm not good enough to be the tree, the apple, the flower, it just knows.. we are all made from the same .... stuff,,, we are all created with intentions.
The way to tap into this is to do things like knowing that we are all connected, all of us, everything! what gets in the way is EGO.. ego says I am alone, I am different than you, I am not the same. YES YA ARE.. we are all souls and spirits... we are all part of a much much much --- larger abundant world.
I say thanks for things in my day that I would otherwise bitch about before, or never acknowledge... Like the rain or the wind, the sun coming through my window. the smile I received from the stranger. All of them are little blessings that should not go unacknowledged.
I am finding that with gratitude, I am able to practice the other things mentioned, Love, beauty, kindness, creativity, expansion, and abundance. actually is pretty easy once you learn gratitude, you then love everything because you know that its been brought to you because you are grateful for it, and then you find it beautiful, with that your creativity starts rolling, and when your on it like that your more likely to practice kindness to others, they cant piss you off your full of love beauty and creativity, with those ingredients brings expansion because you start to think outside the box, "wait I can do that, if I i don't know how now, I sure can learn how" constantly expand your limits.. then comes abundance... once you know you can learn and expand,, you also know that like your potential, everything in life is of abundance, like air... and space..
Light bulb... now its time to act on it... just reading about it, and thinking about it wont get it done, that the second creation,,, making it happen.... one step at a time if needed. I made a new rule in my life.. I must smile at EVERYONE I make eye contact with... funny how many people catch your eye. I smile all friggen day! whoop whoop
Nothing works unless you work it!
So things have been good with me, I changed jobs and am working at a lighting and plumbing store selling products, its good I actually really like sales its fun, plus I am learning new things everyday which really is a huge part of me. I am high energy so I need the stimulus of learning all the time, otherwise I will just get board.
I have been doing things a bit differently in my world, I am not currently working with my life coach or trainer, My budget is allocated to other living expenses at the moment but I know that once I am making some coin and saving up a bit I will definitly have her back, but for now its good. I have been incorporating running and some work outs into my week. Also there are many things that I have learnt in the past 2 years with my life coach that I have been working on, I still read most mornings and journal and meditate. I have been processing the things that we talked about and the things I am implimenting in my daily routine.
I am currently reading Dr Wayne Dyer (love him) The Power of Intention, learning to co-create your world your way. So this is a great book, I was hearing a lot about intention and acting and speaking with intention... these words stuck in my head but I really didnt understand what that meant to do these things. I think that I have posted about it ealier, but this book is great, it really gets down and explains what it means. So one of the greatest things about intention is that everything is created twice, first as a thought... so I started to acknowledge and listen to the thoughts that were CONSTANTLY running through my head... they were just silly, I was worring about alllllll kinds of shit that had NOTHING to do with me. I was thinking about situations and problems that didnt even exist... what a waste of energy!
Not only was I thinking about usless shit, I was telling myself and surrounding myself with all kinds of horrible negative things. Hence it was the greatest thing to quit my job. Seriously..
Once I realized what my inner dialog was, I was able to know that if I could have these thoughts that I could just as easily have others... positive thoughts, thoughts of gratitude, love, kindness, creativity, beauty, abudance and expansion.
Being grateful for EVERYTHING, its all a gift, even if it sucks, we have all been there... something crappy has happened and at the time we are like SHIT>>> not cool.. but later sometimes even much later.. the thought comes to us ohhhhhhhhh I now see why the crappy thing happened.. and if it didn't I wouldn't be having this good thing happen now...
Being grateful for everything is just that. saying daily thanks for what the day has brought. you can thank God if that's what you want to call it, the universe, the source, the heavens, its all the same, its the higher energy that creates us with .. here it comes,, intention.... intention as explained in this book is like this... an apple seed is created with the intention to become a beautiful tree, which produces flowers, and more apples.. with more seeds full of intention to create more apples... the seed the tree nor the apple say... what do I do now? they don't say I'm not good enough to be the tree, the apple, the flower, it just knows.. we are all made from the same .... stuff,,, we are all created with intentions.
The way to tap into this is to do things like knowing that we are all connected, all of us, everything! what gets in the way is EGO.. ego says I am alone, I am different than you, I am not the same. YES YA ARE.. we are all souls and spirits... we are all part of a much much much --- larger abundant world.
I say thanks for things in my day that I would otherwise bitch about before, or never acknowledge... Like the rain or the wind, the sun coming through my window. the smile I received from the stranger. All of them are little blessings that should not go unacknowledged.
I am finding that with gratitude, I am able to practice the other things mentioned, Love, beauty, kindness, creativity, expansion, and abundance. actually is pretty easy once you learn gratitude, you then love everything because you know that its been brought to you because you are grateful for it, and then you find it beautiful, with that your creativity starts rolling, and when your on it like that your more likely to practice kindness to others, they cant piss you off your full of love beauty and creativity, with those ingredients brings expansion because you start to think outside the box, "wait I can do that, if I i don't know how now, I sure can learn how" constantly expand your limits.. then comes abundance... once you know you can learn and expand,, you also know that like your potential, everything in life is of abundance, like air... and space..
Light bulb... now its time to act on it... just reading about it, and thinking about it wont get it done, that the second creation,,, making it happen.... one step at a time if needed. I made a new rule in my life.. I must smile at EVERYONE I make eye contact with... funny how many people catch your eye. I smile all friggen day! whoop whoop
Nothing works unless you work it!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Beautiful days
My life has really done a turn lately... it is amazing once you remove one negative thing from the pot how quickly you can gain back your confidence and power and move forward with a snowball effect.
Since I left my last job,, the Becky, the real one that Mag you grew up with, the ballsy one with an opinion.. yeah well she back.. she a lil mad that she missed so much but she back. welll..... I'm back I should say.
I am loving my new job and my new boss, I also love that since 99% of the people there don't really know me from before,, I can start again.. "dear universe thank you for this opportunity" I can press the reset button and people I work closely with will only know what I tell them about me, this time I will do it and am doing it differently. I am sharing what needs to be shared, I am making the connections but not telling everyone everything, I made that mistake in my last job and it was silly.
I am being very careful what and who I tell stuff too, I don't know people very well there so my guards are up a bit, I like this. The people I want to let close in I will invite but otherwise nope.
I realize that I am there to be friendly to my coworkers and customers but making friends and being friendly are very different.
I have been feeling so much better about myself and knowing that I can go so much further in the last couple of days, I know it will only grow stronger, and for this I am excited.
Since I left my last job,, the Becky, the real one that Mag you grew up with, the ballsy one with an opinion.. yeah well she back.. she a lil mad that she missed so much but she back. welll..... I'm back I should say.
I am loving my new job and my new boss, I also love that since 99% of the people there don't really know me from before,, I can start again.. "dear universe thank you for this opportunity" I can press the reset button and people I work closely with will only know what I tell them about me, this time I will do it and am doing it differently. I am sharing what needs to be shared, I am making the connections but not telling everyone everything, I made that mistake in my last job and it was silly.
I am being very careful what and who I tell stuff too, I don't know people very well there so my guards are up a bit, I like this. The people I want to let close in I will invite but otherwise nope.
I realize that I am there to be friendly to my coworkers and customers but making friends and being friendly are very different.
I have been feeling so much better about myself and knowing that I can go so much further in the last couple of days, I know it will only grow stronger, and for this I am excited.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
New day new way
I am very excited, today I start my NEW job in sales! I will be learning about lighting and plumbing fixtures! I know this is not very exciting to most but for me... to learn new things everyday is wicked.
.... I have been off work for about two weeks now and I am definitely ready to get back to it. I have been cleaning and reading tons during my time off. I have been reading this great book called _ Now Find your Strengths. Its great, you read all about these interviews that these guys did with 2 million people who are excelling in their jobs, then they took this information and created common threads... 34 patterns actually. So its based on the science that when we are born we have many strengths and talents, by the time we are 3 years old, the strongest thread have been developed and those are our strength they hold strong through our lives. Actually it turns out our brains get smaller as we get older .. also when we get smarter our brains shrink too. HUH
So once you get through the first 3 chapters of the book and learn the differences between Talents, Strengths, skill and knowledge you take this online test.. it takes about 40 min and it gives you a series of A and B questions with how you respond the exam tells you your top 5 strengths, then you can go ahead and continue reading the book to see what they mean.... It has been amazing to learn why it is I do some of the things I do....
Really..
Like for example as ironic as it is that I have pretty much always been disorganized ( which has always driven me crazy but I never did organize) is the opposite of my top strength.. which is called Strategic.. its that I actually have a natural talent to take disorganization, clutter and chaos and find many ways and solutions to organize it... hence why I have (for as long as I can remember sorted my coins.. and pens.. and odd things) So for the last couple of days since I have had the time I have been using that talent to actually organize my life.. it finally feels right in my house.
There are two others, once is Achiever.. which is basically that everyday starts at 0 for me.. and throughout the day I need to achieve things in order to feel good at the end of the day. otherwise (so true) I get really disappointed and down on myself.. this is great... and there is a catch.. which is also true,, that everyday I also feel that I have only accomplished about 75% of what I feel I can do because in my mind there is always more even if I have literally filled every min of my day I will still feel there is more...
then I have INPUT... this is the fact that I collect and keep things... things that interest me.. books, coins, pens, things, knowledge.. and I keep them... Its a great thing because with learning new things and reading books is one of my things to collect so I am on a constant hunt for new knowledge.. then you put achiever in there with it and it keeps me going to find new and get new.. then you throw Strategic in there and that's where I can drive myself nuts... to organize and sort all of these THINGS I constantly collect... oi
If you have read the book I am also WOO and empathy..
I would strongly suggest reading this book and doing the test!
let me know I would be interested to find out what others are!
.... I have been off work for about two weeks now and I am definitely ready to get back to it. I have been cleaning and reading tons during my time off. I have been reading this great book called _ Now Find your Strengths. Its great, you read all about these interviews that these guys did with 2 million people who are excelling in their jobs, then they took this information and created common threads... 34 patterns actually. So its based on the science that when we are born we have many strengths and talents, by the time we are 3 years old, the strongest thread have been developed and those are our strength they hold strong through our lives. Actually it turns out our brains get smaller as we get older .. also when we get smarter our brains shrink too. HUH
So once you get through the first 3 chapters of the book and learn the differences between Talents, Strengths, skill and knowledge you take this online test.. it takes about 40 min and it gives you a series of A and B questions with how you respond the exam tells you your top 5 strengths, then you can go ahead and continue reading the book to see what they mean.... It has been amazing to learn why it is I do some of the things I do....
Really..
Like for example as ironic as it is that I have pretty much always been disorganized ( which has always driven me crazy but I never did organize) is the opposite of my top strength.. which is called Strategic.. its that I actually have a natural talent to take disorganization, clutter and chaos and find many ways and solutions to organize it... hence why I have (for as long as I can remember sorted my coins.. and pens.. and odd things) So for the last couple of days since I have had the time I have been using that talent to actually organize my life.. it finally feels right in my house.
There are two others, once is Achiever.. which is basically that everyday starts at 0 for me.. and throughout the day I need to achieve things in order to feel good at the end of the day. otherwise (so true) I get really disappointed and down on myself.. this is great... and there is a catch.. which is also true,, that everyday I also feel that I have only accomplished about 75% of what I feel I can do because in my mind there is always more even if I have literally filled every min of my day I will still feel there is more...
then I have INPUT... this is the fact that I collect and keep things... things that interest me.. books, coins, pens, things, knowledge.. and I keep them... Its a great thing because with learning new things and reading books is one of my things to collect so I am on a constant hunt for new knowledge.. then you put achiever in there with it and it keeps me going to find new and get new.. then you throw Strategic in there and that's where I can drive myself nuts... to organize and sort all of these THINGS I constantly collect... oi
If you have read the book I am also WOO and empathy..
I would strongly suggest reading this book and doing the test!
let me know I would be interested to find out what others are!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sharpen the Saw, Plan ahead
So, I have been doing many things since my last post.... I am currently up North doing a little sharpening of the saw, it is very important that I do this since I will be starting my new job on the 12th, I have accepted and will be starting back in sales for a period of time. The best way to learn about something is to sell it! This is a great new opportunity for me and I am very excited. I have also been promoting my Photography, I want it to grow so I can have my pieces in the gallery spring, I need to get my planning ahead done while I am here, business plans, projections for both new opportunities the sales I want to be making over the next year in my new job as well as the projections for my photography sales... I haven't done this before but I know that what I was doing before needs to change, sooo I am making the change to organized...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thankfull
Today I am again very grateful for the opportunities which have been brought to me! I made the choice to end some relationships and mend others and I am very thankful for how they have fallen away and fit back in, I had created a very messy situation and I am very very thankful for how it all came together.
I have learnt my lesson with this, I am changing, I will continue to change, I will continue to learn. This has been a huge lesson for me and I am going to take from these lessons and change from them.
I have learnt my lesson with this, I am changing, I will continue to change, I will continue to learn. This has been a huge lesson for me and I am going to take from these lessons and change from them.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
picking up the pieces
This is my blog, I have created this to be able to write out what needs to be said.
I have created some things in my life that I am not proud of right now. I have created false beliefs in others and myself. I have created a relationship with people that I do not want to be in. I have created a lot of pain for myself and others. I am so sorry.
I want to change, I can change. I want to create meaningful relationships with people and I do not want to hurt them. Today I had to end a relationship that I have been feeding into for a while now, I have gone back and forth with it a couple of times. I ended up making some bad decisions based on a false belief and now have to deal with the consequences. I have not been fair to this person in continuing to be with them now, when I do not want to step into the reality that is later. I had to end this today and they do not understand, they do not understand because I have been feeding into it and creating.
I am sorry.
I have a huge opportunity in my life right now to make some big changes for myself and my future, It has come to head that I have to change my ways because what I have been doing does not and will not continue to work if I want what I want.
I will not cry over this, I have some friendships to fade, some to mend. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but what I need to do is not try to wallow in my sorrows and play the victim, I need have the strength to deal with the consequences and move forward in my life, and learn from where I have been.
I have created some things in my life that I am not proud of right now. I have created false beliefs in others and myself. I have created a relationship with people that I do not want to be in. I have created a lot of pain for myself and others. I am so sorry.
I want to change, I can change. I want to create meaningful relationships with people and I do not want to hurt them. Today I had to end a relationship that I have been feeding into for a while now, I have gone back and forth with it a couple of times. I ended up making some bad decisions based on a false belief and now have to deal with the consequences. I have not been fair to this person in continuing to be with them now, when I do not want to step into the reality that is later. I had to end this today and they do not understand, they do not understand because I have been feeding into it and creating.
I am sorry.
I have a huge opportunity in my life right now to make some big changes for myself and my future, It has come to head that I have to change my ways because what I have been doing does not and will not continue to work if I want what I want.
I will not cry over this, I have some friendships to fade, some to mend. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but what I need to do is not try to wallow in my sorrows and play the victim, I need have the strength to deal with the consequences and move forward in my life, and learn from where I have been.
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