Saturday, September 25, 2010

picking up the pieces

This is my blog, I have created this to be able to write out what needs to be said.

I have created some things in my life that I am not proud of right now. I have created false beliefs in others and myself. I have created a relationship with people that I do not want to be in. I have created a lot of pain for myself and others. I am so sorry.

I want to change, I can change. I want to create meaningful relationships with people and I do not want to hurt them. Today I had to end a relationship that I have been feeding into for a while now, I have gone back and forth with it a couple of times. I ended up making some bad decisions based on a false belief and now have to deal with the consequences. I have not been fair to this person in continuing to be with them now, when I do not want to step into the reality that is later. I had to end this today and they do not understand, they do not understand because I have been feeding into it and creating.

I am sorry.

I have a huge opportunity in my life right now to make some big changes for myself and my future, It has come to head that I have to change my ways because what I have been doing does not and will not continue to work if I want what I want.

I will not cry over this, I have some friendships to fade, some to mend. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but what I need to do is not try to wallow in my sorrows and play the victim, I need have the strength to deal with the consequences and move forward in my life, and learn from where I have been.

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