Hello 2019!!!

So much went on in 2018, moved (yet AGAIN) I think this moving from town to town is similar to me trying to find my husband. Try a little here, NOPE, try a little there, NOPE, Oh there you are. Geeze

Anyhow, were in our new town now with our little girl. BTW she's amazing. I could go on for HOURS about her but this Blog isn't called - telling you about my baby girl-

This is Enlightenment, love and creative being.

Yesterday I had a shifting moment, I did my regular morning thing, being inert at the moment, watching Netflix and doing absolutely nothing for my soul, (seems I shifted into a bit of a comfy spot) I had a small spark of inspiration, I am not sure where it came from, the icky feeling from eating caramel sauce directly from the jar the previous day or just an angelic nudge. But I had the idea that I needed to get back to the gym. Now in my experiences in life I had a family who didn't do the gym, don't get me wrong they were damn hard workers but not fitness type. We didn't hike or ski growing up despite the face we lived in an incredible outdoorsy town.  No my parents fitness was the work that needed to be done on the property, gardening, firewood, mowing and raking the grass, raking leaves, cleaning the house, building this or that. I admire their work but it didn't teach me fitness. In fact I remember in high school I got into liking track and some of the workouts that were required of me in gym class. I started doing sit ups in my room upstairs, this made the slightest creak in the floor, needless to say I was told to stop doing whatever I was up to because I was annoying and when I confessed it was sit ups I was told I didn't need to do that so stop.

I did end up going and working with a personal trainer while living in Vancouver and fell in love with the weights, I worked hard and then stopped. I believe I stopped essentially because I was still judging myself for doing so. That familiar voice of, stop it, you don't need it or you shouldn't do that, was still ringing in my head. I spent tons of money on wasted gym memberships over the years, I'd get inspired then sign up, then go, then stop or convince myself that it was too hard, too expensive too everything essentially just repeating that negativity in my head.

And then there was yesterday. I got the inspiration again, mentioned it to my husband and his initial tone was that of a frustrated partner who had seen me on this endless loop for years, but then his tone changed. He was supportive, as always and encouraged me.

Ha ha fooled him, I didn't need anyone to doubt me my self doubt came rushing in - before I even got out the door! By the time he walked through the door I had completed 5 conversations with him and myself in my head about the entire thing. I was in tears and sniffling like a injured child.

After many more tears and dancing around the topic he finally said to me, "So what is this, if you don't have someone giving you the abuse, you figure hey I'll do it to myself COME ON!" he was right. I felt I didn't deserve to feel good about myself I didn't deserve to have that small amount of money spent on me and something I really really wanted.

I was so use to that voice in my head that when it didn't come fast enough I created a new voice one that was meaner and louder. What was I doing?

I gave my head a serious shake and had a talk with my husband. We discussed how I had slipped back into the inert, low self of steam person I was years ago. I had stopped doing the things I loved because of my own abusive limiting beliefs.  And there it was LIMITING BELIEFS once that phrase slipped out of my mouth it clicked. I was limiting my self based on what I believed I was worth, what I LET stay in my head. I LET my self believe I wasn't going to succeed. I LET my self believe that I was wasting money.

This entire charade was not of anyone else's doing, it was me. Because of that, I was the ONLY person who could change that thought, that feeling, that belief. SHIFT

I did end up going to the gym yesterday, I did a workout, and I did buy a membership. I am not going to assume it will be easy to maintain but I am going to continue to remind myself that only I can make those choices and only I can change that voice in my head. So I'll keep the blog updated with the fitness progress and like every fitness journey, the emotional and mental journey that inevitably come with it.

stay strong lovely people! You're the only ones that can changes something in your life
Rebecca

Making Changes that STICK

Hello 2017!

Yes a new year, a new start, a fresh calendar.

BUT most of us still have the same bills, same personal trolls as we did 5 days ago. How do we create changes for the new year that STICK.

Well first off, the key words here are CREATE CHANGE. Yes we, each individual, is responsible for their own life.

Sorry to drop a truth on you so early in the year but the FIRST thing to acknowledge is you are where you are because you created it.  Not always INTENTIONALLY but you're still responsible.

HOW?

Well by your thoughts and feelings. I have seen a ton on Social media about how 2016 was SHit and Thank God it's over. Well unless you remove yourself from Drama feeding at the local FB pool and engaging in gossip and reacting to everything and taking on all the crap our pain body LOVES you're going to have a shitty 2017, and 18 and 19 and so on.

Lets talk about the resolution thing. Sure plan to get fit in 30days, eat clean, fill your bank accounts etc but what are you DOING differently to get there?

How about starting by slowing down rather than adding more.  If someone texts you or emails you or even just asks you to do something, Wait, say you'll think about it.  Then do just that THINK, do I really want to host again? Do I really want to watch there cats again? Do these things make me happy? Do they inconvenience me?  Then after some time and once you KNOW what you want - respond.  IT'S OKAY TO SAY NO!

How about a resolution to THINK before Speaking, take that moment between stimulus and response, the space we call choice. CHOOSE to speak words of action, words of positivity. CHOOSE to respond with thought not just re-acting to EVERYTHING.

By saying NO to others when they ask you to do things is saying YES to you! WOW

Once you start to say YES to you and your own time, then you can start working on the thoughts and feelings thing, mostly because all that TIME you say you don't have will be now available.  Now that you've said YES to you, many things start to happen. For one your personal confidence starts to go up, simply because you have put yourself first.   Next you'll find you have more time, lots of free time, especially when all these little things combine, less gossip time, less tv time, less taking care of everyone else time. All those little bits of time add up. Then before you know it, there you have an hour or two just for you! What will you do?

Do, say and create things that make you feel good, feel happy, feel joy.  You have time now, how about some personal spa time, ohh. Or reading time. Maybe bust out those adult colouring books we all bought and put on a shelf. Maybe gear up and do some yoga or weights. All of these little things can now fill up your ME time.

Just think if you break down your full 24hrs in a day to work, sleep, chores, family time etc, you'll see there actually is a good chunk of time that we spend on social media, in line at the store gossiping, watching TV or the news.  Sure those things are entertaining I suppose, more like mind numbing. Why not relax with some stretching or reading instead.

Don't get me wrong I watch my TV and play on my social media too, but I have been catching myself, regurgitating the information on my social media, looking every 15min to see if something new is on there only to find out NOPe still don't care. So just put it down, turn it off, you're not missing anything other than time which you could be using to spoil yourself and make those changes that STICK.

Try it. Even one day at a time.

Nothing works unless you work it.
R