Back in Black

So I am back,, I took a bit of a break there, I have been a tad busy with things - lots to update tho... mmmm lemme see.. I have continued with my boot camps and training and life coaching still loosing weight like mad.. I just gave a load of clothes to another friend who has joined the JADE train so that felt good, also bought hot coffee for a couple of people sitting on the sidewalk asking for change, they were really happy for it so it made me happy to provide it, you have to give back like that, its considered an act of thanks to the universe.

OH yeah I am very happy to hear momma Vince made it through her stuff and am happy she is having a healthy recovery..

My Mom and Dad AND sista are coming down in a couple of weeks for 5 mad man shopping days WHOOP .. I even got my boss to buy an extra ticket for my sister to a Work christmas party that I need to attend so while they are here bon and I get to get all dolled up and go out for dinner and dancin I am super excited it should be fun.

just a quick few pics of the success - these are from Last Friday night at the Vancouver Aquarium Toast to the Coast.

The run - the finish - the results - the recovery

Okay so it has definitely been a while since i last posted, i think being busy and recovering has just been enough to fill each day.

As you know i did my very first 10k it was AMAZING!! I completed it in 1 hour 5 min. I am so proud of myself for doing it and completing the whole thing running! I far surpassed my January goal of being able to run for 45 min on the sea wall. In fact I have surpassed a couple of my goals, my fitness goal is well on its way.

But i am feeling a need for a bit of a change, of coarse after my run i didn't slow down, i went to boot camp on the Tuesday and training on the Wednesday, which resulted in me missing a day of work on Thursday to recover, this was the start of the changes. its like the run broke me and now things are going to change. First i finally got my raise on Friday ! WHoop!

Some one also mentioned to me that i have spent a lot of money on my new body and should be showing it off...very true.. so this has got me thinking also, yesterday i wore a cute little hat, and a nice belt around my waist, and let me tell you anyone who has experienced any weight issues or confidence issues would never ever be putting a big o'l belt in the area which you constantly are trying to hide. so that was a big step for me,and i am getting used to this shinny new body, i think this is the first time EVER i actually feel delicate and petite.

anyhow so i am thinking about a couple of changes in my current routine, i would like to spend a bit more time on my mental health and spiritual health and swing the pendulum back a bit. i am so happy with the results of my physical health and want to continue to shape and loose, but i would also like to spend a bit of time with my camera and my paints and my books. I think i got really got excited about my physical changes and pushed the pendulum a bit far to that side, i forgot to check in with myself on where i was at with energy levels and mental state.

anyhow, i will keep you updated on where things are at.

cant come up with a title today :)

Alright, so I had a block and didn't know what to call this post. But I do have some updating to do for sure, last I posted was my birthday, We had our pool party - which was way to friggen cold to be in the pool so we all ended up at the apartment. It was great though so many people showed and it was like they came in waves so there was constantly people here.

My good friend whom I have been spending ridiculous amounts of time with and yet not dating didn't show, apparently there were very important things. Whatever.. basically since they didn't show up I was that's it no more, I have been here before and I am done with you!!

Needless to say thank you universe because i decided to go out that night, a lil dancing for my birthday wouldn't hurt, so we headed off to library square but it was just so dead looking in there we decided to head over to the Roxy - now the Roxy can be so much fun and really the old bec really liked it there cause it was like for sure * if she wanted it. the old bec almost got it too! but the new bec the one that has been doing her homework, and focusing and breathing and realizing what she really really wants walked away!

as I was walking away and heading out to go home, I stopped to talk to a gentleman who I had made eye contact with earlier but never talked to. Turns out he was delightful!!! we talked for like 20 min outside and I gave him my # .. Monday morning I get the first txt.

since then I cant even tell you how many txt we have exchanged back and forth, we have been talking on the phone and once my race is done He will be taking me on our first date.!!!!!!!!!

This guy is great! sweet and kind, so funny he has an infectious laugh . oh man ....

anyhow that is how the universe works for me, this is really the closest thing i have had to a relationship since Smithers and i love it!! i am so looking forward to all the rest of it.

Holla universe ahhh thank you again.

oh yeah - ps on Monday the 12th I plan to run my first 10k - I think I have posted about it

Hollaaaa

I would like to shout out to everyone (even though they may never see this) For all the amazing love, support and birthday wishes! I feel blessed to have so many amazing people in my life.

Birthday Birthday its my Birthday - soon

AHhh haaaaaaa it's my birthday on the 29th and this weekend I have decided to throw a pool party birthday BASH!!! I am very excited it will be the last day the pool is open in my building so what the hey have a party for that too..

Dee your so invited - I wish you could come
Magda so invited - doubt you come but I know you would if you could get across the water in 24 hours. :)

so I will be taking lots of photos and creating lots of gossip which should fill a few posts over the next few days.... keep checking...

Happy Birthday Message

Happy Birthday TOOOOOOOOOOOO you Happy birthday TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you Happy birthday DeEAAAAAAAAAAR mAAAAAAAAAAGGDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAA.... (breath) Happy Birthday toooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

So for you today Magda I present you with a few photos I have of us - or just you - I don't think you know about the first one, I drew this about 8 years ago. One thing I want to make sure is that you - Magda - know that I love you and you still maintain at the very top of my pedestal.... ---------------------------------hugs----------------------------------------


LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Clamshell Sit Ups!

Okay so here is the deal with the Clamshell Sit Ups, THEY ROCK! they don't hurt while your doing them but OMG the next day incredible results and pain... all good. So with Magda inquiring I have done a few shots.. mind my living room I had to be creative here with the 10 sec timer on my camera.

So sit with the bottoms of your feet together, as if you were stretching,

Lay down on your back with your arms straight in the air above your chest - palms together - feet still in the same position -

and you sit up extending past your feet stretching forward - this is where the money is! this extra little extension is whats going to get the job done. Since your not using your feet or legs at all your entire core is working here

Do 20 - 20- 20 for a few days then do 20-40-20

let me know how it works out.. your going to LOVE them..

Sucsess!

Alright, so I have been putting a few things out into the universe for a while now, 1- I wanted to have a pay increase at work - I work my but off and get half of what the other designer gets - given he is more of a senior designer but there is a ton more I do. Nevertheless I am grateful for the opportunity I had to discuss my wages with my boss yesterday. I got a 10% raise which is pretty damm good.

I have also been talking to the universe about my 10k coming up in a couple of weeks - my very very first 10k -- in fact so new that it was only 3 days ago I was only able to run for 15min at 4.5 on the treadmill, Tuesday I am happy to say I did 30 min at 5.0 and thank you very much yesterday I did 5k at 5.0-5.3 THIS IS HUGE in my world. not only was I doing these runs, but I am still in boot camp and training so there is all kinds of strength training on top of that-

yesterdays HRM read
Duration 1.23 hours
in the zone 1.08 hrs
AVG HR 150
Max HR 186
Calories 811

whooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My knees are a bit sore today, and from the boot camps and training my abs - we are doing these things called clam shell sit ups OMG killer cause you cant feel them when your doing them you could go all day but killer the next day.

I keep spinning a few affirmations in my head as I run and as I go through each day right now - Dr Wayne Dyer says
" there is no such thing as stress - it doesn't exist - you can prove to me that stress exists - go out and bring me back a bucket of stress- doesn't happen! Its a trick our brain plays with us."
so going through my head is - where is my bucket of pain - where is my bucket of tired - I surrender to the universe -

I surrender to the Universe- keep bringing IT!

THANK YOU UNIVERSE

Today I went down to Winners to check out some shoesand ran into the CCMA awards fanfest on Granville St, so I ended up hanging out for like 3 hours today watching Johnny Reid, Jessie Farrell, Aaron Pritchett, Doc Walker, Shane Yellowbird, Deric Ruttan, Tara Oram, Dean Brody, Steven Lee Olsen, The Higgins, Jason Blaine, One More Girl, Ridley Bent, Victoria Banks, Terri Clark, JD Bigsby, and so many more LIVE - what a day!! Then met up with Jade and Stephanie and checked out Kathy Frank up on Main st!! my amazing musical day!

Thank you universe!

Divine Guidance

YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF SHOULD BE THAT OF A SPIRITUAL BEING WHO'S FREE OF LIMITATIONS AND WHO TRUSTS THAT DIVINE GUIDANCE IS AVAILABLE AT EVERY MOMENT!!

I have this great new revolving calender, it has no day of the week on it just the date so I can re-use it every year and it is all quotes from D. Wayne Dyer. LOVE IT it makes each morning a lil reminder...

so I have been working on stuff - doing alright, I need to be putting a bit more effort into this running deal, I really say I take it seriously but have been feeling like I am lying a bit.. its like on some things I go forward all the time and some I go back..

I have been doing boot camp though, the last time was Tuesday, Wednesday was life coach,, good session! I have been that I can no longer be telling everyone to F*ck off... COME ON... I know its cause I don't need to be burning bridges all around me and having everyone think I am a horrible person....

I was at the Western Living Designer of the Year Awards on Thursday, very fun, first when I went to go get changed to go I discovered none of my pants fit- now this is a good thing, ,, but when you only have 2 min to find pants and NOTHING will stay on your hips... you start to curse a little... needless to say I ended up rocking a grey skirt and tall black boots with my blue top it all worked out...

oh yeah the other thing I learned is that with all the weight loss, I am in a new weight class for having some drinks... yeah couple of glasses of wine, one beer and one caesar - oh and maybe a shot but over the course of 6 hours... I know I know all the mixing but seriously I was always the person who did a shot with every drink just to keep up to people - and I woke up on Friday with an ugly hangover... wTF. lesson learnt!

Last night went to a BBQ for a friends birthday, fun fun, I was tested again by the universe, an individual from my work, who has been pushing up on me, txt me last night and wanted to know if I was still at my friends - my first beer induced thought was mmmmmm maybe... my reality thought was NONONONONONONONO so I txt back and said I was already leaving and headed home - g-night... GOOD GIRL bad that I txt back but at least I stopped it there.


tonight tonight is going to be the most fun!! I accidentally double booked myself again to be at 2 places at the same time - again one in Vancouver and one way way out there - did it the time I was supposed to be at Dees to see Magda and booked a book club meeting at my place the same day. SO tonight I am supposed to be out in New west for my good friend shayla's birthday but realized I booked all these plans to go out with Jade and group - i booked it - to see a blues band play at main st. so unfortunately because New west is not in reach for me and i don't have a car and i don't have a place to stay - its going to have to be another time for me to be out in NW. So tonight its blues night with jade and Stephanie and hopefully Todd.

I will take my camera so I can get some shots of the evenings events.

look forward to another HRM update - i plan to run today.

lil HRM update

I was out in Richmond this morning for the 6am boot camp.. today's totals
48 min total
48 min in the zone
avg HR 149
max HR 184
calories 463.

This is fun, I am liking doing this, I have one more boot camp this week, Tues night at 6:15 I need to do some journal writing today, relaxing, I have cleaned my house 3/4 done. I have done so much this weekend it looks like I will have to do laundry again..

I will have something more enlightening to talk about soon..

HRM

Thats right.. I bought a HRM.. very cool! My summary is as follows

richmond boot camp 48 min
in the ZONE 34 min
average HR 153
max HR 184
appox calories.. 476. wHOOp

Tomorrow morning.. 6:00am richmond boot camp..

176 - 10k ... Tattoo? Progress Report! :)

So I have been thinking about doing this post for a few days but in the mornings, 5:00-5:30 am it just never happened and when I go to bed at night, is when I think, shoot I should blog, anyhow it has been on my personal task list for a few days. So here it is, I want to tell you about my 176- this is the new number that is showing up and dropping every time I step on the scale WHOOOP!!


The funny thing about this number is I distinctly remember the day I hit 176 when gaining weight, I remember thinking, aw man, 176 shoot I need to get this under control. NOPE didn't do it then... so when I stepped on the scale a few days ago and saw 176 I thought OMG seriously! WICKED! quite the contrast to the first time I saw this number pop up before me.



I have made a commitment to Run a 10k the Vancouver Turkey Trot actually, it is taking place on October 12 at Granville island. I have never run a 10K or any kind of group run/activity like this so I am quite stoked for it! I have joined Jades Boot Camp two nights a week @ 6:15. then I am still doing my Training/coaching sessions on Wednesdays. This week was week one of Boot camp... it turns out also a training Wednesday so my abs are screaming at me right now, and I still have this evening to complete RALLY THROUGH!


So with the 10k on the horizon I have made an agreement/goal with myself that when I finish the 10k - running - I get to get my next tattoo!! very exciting, I believe Jade is going to go with and get another as well! this is almost more motivating than the thrill of completing my first 10K but I figure if I can complete this one, whats stopping me!


Okay so I currently have one tattoo it is the symbol for Happiness, smile, laugh, on my back more solar plexus area, this new one is the Enlightenment/ inspiration it is going to go above it. whoop!! here are the images. ... mmm the only thing am wondering is if I can put the two symbols for enlightenment above one another??? Magda help me out sista!
can it go like this? with the other character below? My other question is would it mean something else with the three in a line? anybody?

I've got the sun shining over my face...

That is part of a song verse from Johnny Reid this is what I am listing to this morning. I woke up feeling a bit flat line so once my coffee was in me and plants were watered... I watered my plants instead of watching the news.... and I was thinking I do not wish to have this flat line feeling all day lets do something to fix this. One thing I often do when I get this feeling is go back to my homework from Jade my life coach, I read through them remind myself that only I can create today!!

Today I decided to go back through the books I have been reading from life coach, when I read books like these I dog ear pages that have interesting statements on them, I don't always know why I am saving that page until later.. today I would like to share some of those statements that have helped me create my day.

First book - Turn it UP! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer

"Repetition Aids Comprehension" Page 102

"The best students learn through frequent repetition. Conventional wisdom says that for information to be lodged in long-term memory it must be repeated ten or eleven times."

This has reminded me that everyday I must apply what I am learning about creating my dream everyday... everyday... everyday... every moment..

Book 2 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey

Page 239

Empathic Listening

""seek first to understand" involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives.

""Oh, I know exactly how you feel!""
""I went through the very same thing. Let me tell you about my experience""
"They're constantly projecting their own home movies onto other peoples behaviour. They prescribe their own glasses for everyone with whom they interact."


Book 3 - Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins

Page 246

"I've heard that the only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet, and over a century ago."

page 431 Quote

""If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."" - Thomas A. Edison

page 504 Quote
"" You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you"" - John Wooden



These may not effect you as much as they have affected me but these are all powerful words for me and they have turned my day around - I hope it helps you with your day!

Forgiveness

ALrighty ... things are good here, the meeting went well - very well actually - it was a bit odd at first, I believe the first thing I said to JH was "hi.... do you feel like your going to vomit right now?" response..."um yeah..." so once we got over that, it was basic chit chat for the first 30 min..



I had called my good friend just before going into meet and was freaking out a bit, they were so sweet and offered to "drop in" if things were not going well and would rescue me. So about 45 min into it, my friend Adam stopped into check on us. It was very nice of him, I didn't need an out but it was still kind.


anyhow, after a bit of general I am here chat, we got right into it, JH started out by saying that he would love to say "I am sorry" but those words could not express what he really wanted me to know, he did say those three magic words - he said he really wanted to make sure that even if I stormed out and couldn't look at him all he wanted me to know was he never did it to hurt me and it was never meant to be something done to me....... agreement # 2....



it was good, he has made some progress in his life and has come to the realization that he has a sickness and he needs to get help for that.


I expressed my feelings towards him, I wanted him to know that I no longer feel anger or hatred towards him because I have forgiven him - I wanted to let him know that I was really happy for him for going and seeing people about his problems, and let him know that I have learnt not to take what he did personally and that it was his problem not mine, in fact it had nothing to do with me, and I now know that. I also wanted him to know that even though he has made some horrible mistakes he is still a good person.


always since JH and were friends back in the day when we were really close people would always get us in great photos cause we were stuck like glue to each other.



So we were right in the deep mix of things when I noticed a guy at the table across from us checking us out and I notice this man with a camera just looking at us. He apologized for interrupting and said that he had taken a great photo and hoped we didn't mind. I would like to share this photo with you. I am very proud of this ... you can see for yourself... first time in 3 1/2 years that two people who were so very close talking for the first time.

back at it...

Tonight I am meeting with JH, this will be the first time other than some simple txting that we will have talked or looked at one another since ,.,.. well there isn't enough time, energy or space here to explain but nevertheless we are meeting... I feel I am not the only one here who is a bit nervous or anxious ,, I cannot really describe the feeling its like I am headed out to test my own ability to forgive, I believe and trust that I can, but since this is the first and major one... anyhow I will get through it, I have had a positive feeling about taking this step since it began a few weeks ago..

I realize that I am babbling here but its my blog so suck it up..

My body tells me such wonderful things, I know whats going on right now, I have a sty in my Eye, and it showed up on Sunday night Monday... the funny thing is I originally thought it was due to the friday night event, but on Sunday was when I had first planned to meet with JH, I cancelled because I had other things on my plate and I essentially avoided the situation, Tuesday I tried again, still giving other things in my life credit for my stye, came home cleansed my house and my self .. guess what nothing worked to heal my eye,,, today I am realizing that my body is giving me the - deal with it or I wont heal - option. So what is going on with this ongoing eye problem is me thinking I can avoid confronting my fears of hurt ,confronting my fear of failure of forgiveness and not dealing with stuff, and my body saying - guess what avoiding it because your afraid isn't going to work...


on that note I will (as my mother says) "grab the bull by the horns and get it together and just do it"

6:30 tonight...

I will keep you posted.

As Promised...

Okay, so as mentioned in my last post, I was on my way to a "come on Barbie lets go party" - party, the events which unfolded from this only go to prove to me that I should be trusting and believing in the ways of the universe. Now I know this may seem odd but for me it was really clear.

Lets start at the beginning. I was to go to the party dressed as 70's Barbie, so Friday night off I go, I have my whole costume. The evening is going well meeting lots of people, lots of laughs. My blond wig was a big hit since 90% of the guest thought it was my natural hair. As you can see in the photo here with Skipper and Career Barbie.

So when it was brought up that we were going to Doolins, I figured since nobody recognized me and my wig look pretty convincing that I would play it up as a different person that night. We headed out to only find out that a whole bunch of dressed up ladies - one even being in only a bikini and grass skirt - still had to wait in line.

So as we are waiting in line, Cougar Barbie (lol) meets these guys in line, a lovely couple of Icelandic men - love to tell you the names but still cannot pronounce them. So the evening goes on, people are reacting quite well to the Blond hippie, in fact so well that I ended up chatting it up with one of the very very nice men from Iceland. (BTW he didn't seem to care that I was dressed like a 70's Barbie and didn't mind finding out that I was wearing a wig)


..........details that your welcome to call me on but do not need to be posted on the Internet..............


Skip to Saturday morning, I am supposed to be doing some stuff for my work, going to a site and checking on the contractors to make sure they are okay and pick up the keys, I was supposed to do this between 10:00-12:00.

My phone rang about 6 times I, for reasons not mentioned above, I refused to leave my situation to be responsible and answer my phone and do my site visit.

So at 1:00pm Saturday, I am finally able to face my responsibility's of work and check my phone messages, Seems they figured it out themselves and had arranged to let another contractor take the keys until I got there. So 2 hours later than I told them, I went to the site which led me to run into the Client. Now this is where my trust in the way the Universe works comes in. The client seemed very happy to see there were contractors working on His place on the weekend and even happier to see that there was an employee who was checking on them to ensure the proper quality he was expecting. This which will lead to a happy client and from there many other positive things will happen.

Let me just run through this length of events the way I see it.
if i hadn't checked about the Party - I would have missed it - since I did - it led me to purchase a Blond wig, which led me to the party dressed like a hippie - which created a positive enough response that trusted to go out to a pub dressed like a hippie - which led me to meet Mr Iceland- which led to skipping all my morning responsibilities - which led to arriving at the site 4 hours later than originally thought - which led to me running into the client.

Coincidence - NO. Trusting the universe that this even as crazy and odd as it played out is exactly as it was supposed to happen - YES.

Needless to say, I will be letting things unfold as they are meant to be regardless of how crazy and possibly out of place they may seem at that moment because the reality is that these events have been played out by the universe to bring me exactly to the places I am supposed to be.

So I found out today I am supposed to be going to a birthday party tomorrow night - the theme - "Come on Barbie lets go Party "- Party. We are dressing up like all different Barbie's. So in a bit of a panic I started looking for images that I could use to inspire my costume, I finaly just went to Party Bazar - costume place for those who do not know - got my bouncy blond wig and peace sign necklace and earrings and off to Winners to see what I could find. AMAZING it was like 1970 hit winners last night I found a wicked flowy colourful top - $10, Levis super light flair jeans - $11 and a hot pink purse with a big o' glitter studded peace sign on it (so not 70's I know but come on its so cute) $20

So I came home and checked to see what else I could do, well I happen to have this wicked vest which I call my rock star vest, "dirty light" leather vest with big fur collar and lining, I added a 2" ribbin around my blond wig and ta daaa - I look like 70's Barbie!! I forgot to mention my $11 Levi Jeans make my ass look like a gold mine!! Not kidding.

So I understand the plan is drinks and snacks at Nicoles and if things get out of hand - by experiance they will - we will end up going out to a pub DT called Doolins, I guess this is where all the guys from the World Police and Fire Games will be..... not going to say no to that one...

I will make sure to take lots of pictures and let you know how things go!!

Welcome

So I have decided to write a blog, my friend Magda has one, her sister Dee, and their mom all have blogs. Dee was the one that really set this in motion, we had a great chat over some Blueberry wine one night and I have been thinking about it since. I normanly journal but I thought what the heck might as well share what I am experiancing in my life and see who shares this with me.

So here it is! I would like to start off by letting you know where I am at right now, I have been working with my Life Coach for the past six months and feel I have been making tons of progress, she is actually my Personal Trainer as well and an amazing person! We have ended up being great friends, which is the best kind of Coach anyhow. Two times a month I meet with Jade for Life Coach and two times a month we meet for Training. As it turns out I have been dropping weight like crazy, the more I work on myself, enlightenment and awakening, the more weight I loose, then I get to tone up with Jade when we train. It has been wonderful. From day one with Jade I have been given books and homework for my Life Coach, first was Turn it Up! By Dr. Jeffrey Spencer, amazing book, took a bit to read since it was my first book, then Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, By Steven Covey, again amazing book, this one I read very quickly. Third was Awaken the Giant Within, By Anthony Robbins, this was a bit bigger of a book, what an amazing writer.

The most recently read was You'll See It When You Believe It, By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, this one has had a major affect on me. The last chapter of the book is all about forgivness, it reminds us that holding that hatred and anger towards people is not doing us any good, and in fact it doesn't matter how angry we get or how much we hate someone, they are not going to change, because they are just that way, and nothing we do will change that. The entire book is about how we are all connected, and things such as conicidence and luck do not exsist, it is all supposed to happen that way, and by sending out thoughts we create these moments and they happen because they are supposed to.

So as I read this chapter there was one particular individual that kept creeping in my mind (JH), a long time friend who wronged me and my family. I was crushed at the time and held a lot of anger for a long time but once reading the book and really being touched by the forgivness chapter I felt it was time to forgive them since being angry wasn't doing me any good. I finished the book and the Forgivness chapter just yesterday morning. When I got home (from holidays) I checked my email, not having been able to for a few days, and there it was... an email from JH, first thought... mmm this is suppose to happen.. it expressed that He had been on facebook and had run into my profile and felt that it was too much of a conicidence not to write and email. This is how the emails went...

"I landed on your page by sheer luck while trying to link to someone else's profile ( you must have been tagged in the photo), and I thought it was far to odd of a coincidence to not drop you a line of some sort.Frankly, I am not exactly sure what to put in the aforementioned 'line', except that, at least in your pictures (which I admit to totally looking at), you look blissfully happy... and I am whole heartedly happy for that. I really truly hope you are doing wonderful, and should you wish to send me a note back, that would be awesome... if not, I totally understand.Miss your smile, and again - I am glad to see your smile is just as jubilant. (as you can see - my spelling hasn't gotten any better).Best thoughts "

my response was this..

"I wouldn't say luck as much as fate, I was thinking of you today and feeling as I should contact you soon. I must be honest I have checked your profile from time to time to just to see where you are at, congratulations on your engagement! that is wonderful for you. I did receive your message a few years back after I graduated, I am sure you could understand I was not in a place to repsond.I have been working with my trainer and life coach in the last six months and it has really turned my life around. I would like to say that as much hurt and pain I felt towards you, I cannot hold onto that any longer, it does me no good. I would like to propose we meet for coffee, I know what is done is done and we cannot go back to where we were but I want you to know that I the friend I had I miss. I can also understand if you wish not to meet, maybe at a later time. I send you love."


and in return..

"First and foremost, I'll have you know that you just made me cry in the middle of my gamedesign class. It was fairly difficult to explain. (smiles)I would very much like to meet up, whenever/wherever you like. I wasn't actually sure if you were still in Vancouver or not, as I thought I saw you a number of times, most recently being on the padio of ... umm... (the name is eluding me right now). But I only catch you as an afterthought, and I am usually on the bus or driving so I never know for sure. I would like to add so much more, but I think it is better off in person. Anyways - let me know, and i'll be all over it."


Wow, I am feeling very good about this decision to forgive. I will let you know how coffee goes, and as the Life Coach contiues so does my journey....